


Fragments Mixtape

by L_M_Biggs



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crystal Gem!Jasper, F/F, Gen, Other, Redeemed!Jasper, also brief mentions of not nice stuff, and then it got really intense, but isn't that this whole series at this point?, but these two be messy super duper messy, final chapter is what gets that M rating, jaspearl fusion, like war crimes and atrocities and stuff like that if you squint, no beta readers. we die like men, the rest of it is pretty tame, this was once soft jaspearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23309938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_M_Biggs/pseuds/L_M_Biggs
Summary: “He’s not Pink Diamond. He’s not Rose Quartz. You can’t keep him all to yourself neat and protected like your room.” Jasper snapped, glaring at the Pearl.“I-I don’t want to keep-”“Of course you do, you always have, even when it was just you and Pink Diamond running around playing games in disguise.” Jasper grabbed at Pearl’s wrists. “You don’t care about anyone else. Just you and Pink Diamond, whatever form she might take.”...(Previously titled Fragments Redeux)
Relationships: Jasper & Pearl (Steven Universe), Jasper & Steven Universe, Jasper/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 134





	1. Fragments Redeux

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't rewatched the whole series, but I had to write this after Fragments aired. Please forgive me for dialogue not matching up exactly from the series. Unfortunately this whole fic is pretty much dialogue so sorry on that front too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He needs guidance,” Jasper whispered to Pearl quietly as they stood leaning against the balcony of Steven’s home.
> 
> “No, he needs to find himself.” Pearl whispered back, her elbow touching Jasper’s. “You remember that, don’t you? Finding your own purpose.”
> 
> “This is different. I had you, I had Pink. We were all struggling, confused, trying to find ourselves.”

“No one can know,” Her Diamond said quietly, and Jasper froze just beyond the doorway, torn between continuing her pace to Pink Diamond’s palanquin and returning back to the others of the gathered army with an order to wait on orders. They seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, idly standing by while Rose Quartz and her crystal gems wreaked havoc upon Pink Diamond’s plans. Jasper squared her shoulders and continued her pace, determined to prove her worth, her loyalty, to her Diamond. If there was something wrong, she could fix it, she would find a solution. And if she couldn’t fix it… She could destroy whatever stood in her Diamond’s way.

Perhaps it was the wrong moment, perhaps it was the right one, but regardless it was the moment that changed Jasper’s life when she brushed aside the filmy curtains of the palanquin and stared at her Diamond, transforming into Rose Quartz, her Diamond’s Pearl staring up at the transformation with delight and awe. 

“My Diamond!” Jasper shouted, out of surprised instinct more than anything, and the two turned to stare at her. Rose Quartz - no, Pink Diamond, always her Diamond - changed back in a glow of light, freezing as she stared at Jasper, the Pearl covering her mouth with a startled squeak. Jasper saluted out of instinct, freezing in place, staring up at her Diamond, her yellow eyes flickering as she tried to comprehend what she had just witnessed, what she had overheard. “You are Rose Quartz.” It was an obvious statement, but one that Jasper had to make. 

The two gems before her looked at one another, Pearl with trepidation and fear, Pink Diamond with the frantic expression of someone who had just had her best laid plans destroyed in the heat of battle and needed a solution, fast.

It was a moment of truth, one where Jasper knew her life, her future, would be determined through her actions in this precise moments. Centuries, millennia, later she would look back on this moment, pinpointed as the moment where her entire life was turned on it’s axis.

Jasper knelt before her Diamond, took a breath, and whispered, “My Quartz.”

* * *

“Steven,” Jasper sighed as she stared at the boy, his eyes wet with unshed tears and his lower lip trembling. “You will stop this indignity.”

The infant did not seem to care for that, and ended up crying even more loudly, squalling in Jasper’s single palm with all the strength of a housecat. Greg was out playing his god awful music to earn money, and the other Crystal Gems were out on a mission that required more… Finesse than Jasper was capable of. Leaving Jasper with the dubious honour of babysitting Rose Quartz’s infant son. 

“Steven,” Jasper’s low voice did not carry over the infant’s screams. “I am begging you, My Diamond, please cease this noise.” The baby ignored her, as he had for the last hour. Jasper sighed, pulling Steven to her chest and standing, walking through the front door of the beach house to go along the beach. That seemed to calm the child and Jasper let out a relieved sigh at the delighted squeal and then quiet observation that Steven fell into from her arms. 

“Oh, ah, Mrs. Universe?”

Jasper sighed and looked over at Mayor Dewey, frowning at the man. “I am not Mrs. Universe, that was Rose.”

“I’m just, um, a bit confused, There’s a few of you and I know one of you is Greg’s… Not wife? Wife?”

“No.”

“Oh… So… You’re sisters?”

Jasper didn’t bother trying to explain the mere concept of Kindergartens and where Gems came from, so she nodded. “Yes. Sisters.”

“So… We were just… I mean, it’s not really a big issue, but the fence-”

Jasper looked at the fence surrounding the temple and a good chunk of the beach. “What about it?”

“Well… Is there anything dangerous behind it? There’s some people who would like to know.”

Jasper thought of herself, of the Crystal Gems, of the corrupted gems and monsters contained in the atrium of the temple, of the countless weapons that all of them had in their rooms, before she shook her head. “Nothing that any of you need to worry about.”

Mayor Dewey nodded, looking at Steven, who had started to tear up and whimper again, Jasper looking down at the baby and sighing as she gently rocked the baby, trying to bounce him and get him to stop the beginnings of his tantrum. Within moments, Steven had begun to scream and wail all over again, Jasper’s shoulders slumping as she sighed and rocked the baby.

“Hey, um, you’re holding him wrong.”

“What?” Jasper sneered at the human. “How would you know?”

“Have a kid myself.” Dewey gave a nervous smile. “You have to support his body more. You can’t just hold him with one hand, he’s probably scared.” Dewey reached out, and Jasper gripped his wrist tightly, threatening to break bone in her meaty palm. “I’m not going to hurt him, I promise.”

Jasper stared at him, and after a moment she released his arm, letting Dewey adjust Steven, removing the baby from her palm and then guiding him to nestle in the crook of her arm.  
The baby instantly stopped crying, and Jasper was quiet as she stared down at large, round eyes, sighing in relief at the blessed quiet. 

“Look, um…” Dewey looked up at Jasper. “If any of you need a babysitter for Steven, I have a number?” He scrawled out the number on one of his own business cards. “I get being busy, but she’s also great at teaching you about babies in general.”

“Why would I need to learn about babies? Do you think I’m incapable of caring for him myself?”

Dewey stared at her and Jasper scowled, the man fiddling with the card before holding it out to her. “Look, everyone needs help sometimes. Even you loners.”  
Jasper stared down at the man, her yellow eyes fixed on him, unmoving and trying to decide if her pride dictated that she should accept the help.

In the end, she did, looking at the name on the back. “Miller?”

“Yeah, Barbara is really helpful, she’s a lifesaver, honestly.”

Jasper was quiet for a moment before she worked her jaw. “Thank you.” She grunted, staring down at the card, refusing to look at Dewey. “Just… Let the town know that the beach is safe. There isn’t anything here that will hurt them.”

“Okay, um… Thank you, Miss?”

“Captain.” Jasper narrowed her eye at the man. “Captain Jasper Quartz.”

“O-oh, a war hero?”

“Yes.”

“Which one?”

“All of them.” Jasper turned and left the man standing on the beach in his nice shoes and suit, returning to the temple with a much calmer and more quiet Steven. 

“Jasper!” She looked over at the kitchen, seeing the other Crystal Gems returned from their mission, Pearl smiling at her brightly. “We were wondering where you were.”

“Steven wouldn’t stop crying, we went to the beach.”

“He looks chill now.” Amethyst looked at the baby, and Jasper made a face as Amethyst shape shifted herself through a series of grotesque shapes, making Steven laugh and coo in delight. 

“Mayor Dewey came to ask about the fence.” Jasper said, looking at the group, Pearl nervously shifting to glance out the window towards the fence. “Everyone in town thinks we’re dangerous.”

“Well, it’s safer for Steven this way.”

“A fence didn’t stop Greg.” Jasper pointed out.

“True.” Garnet looked at the fence. “And Steven needs other humans. Not just us.”

“We don’t even know what he is.” Jasper sighed, looking down at the infant in her arm, now reaching for Amethyst, who was reaching up for the baby as well, Jasper carefully moving  
Amethyst’s arms to cradle the baby properly as Dewey had shown her. “Maybe… What if he’s not like Rose? What if he’s just human with a gem in him?”

There was a long silence before Garnet spoke. “Then we love him, care for him, and protect him. Like we promised Rose.”

Jasper stared down at Steven, frowning to herself. “And if that’s not enough?”

No one could answer that question.

* * *

“Babs,” Jasper looked exhausted as she answered the door for the mail. She wasn’t sure when they started to get mail at the Temple, but it was likely when Steven discovered advertisements and signed them up for newsletters and catalogs and magazines by the score. Even when he had outgrown that phase, everything kept coming. Jasper suspected that he had paid for several years worth of subscriptions when first placing his orders. 

“Hey, Jasper,” Babs laughed, taking in Jasper’s annoyed demeanor. “Rough day?”

Jasper was about to respond when the television in Steven’s loft began to play the same children’s musical program that it had been playing for the last six hours straight, since Steven had woken up that morning, again. The expression on Jasper’s face must have said it all, because Babs began to laugh. “You know the library lets you rent VHS and DVDs for the kids to watch.”

Jasper stared at Babs before looking back at the house. “Thank you.” She accepted the mail and then went inside, plucking up Steven from his spot on the floor.

“Aaaaw, Jasper!”

“We’re going out.” She turned off the television and hoisted Steven beneath her arm, carrying him to the door and bending so that he could collect his flip flops into his hands, grabbing a sweater for him just in case the wind picked up.

“Where are we going?” Steven asked as Jasper stomped down the stairs, walking past where Pearl was cleaning the windows, the other gem smiling at the sight of the two of them on their way on a small adventure. Jasper looked at Pearl with a smile, but continued her pace. 

“To get you some new things to watch.” Jasper said simply.

“Why?”

“Because that current show is driving me insane.”

“Why?”

“Because you watch it on repeat.”

“Why?”

“That is an excellent question, Steven, why do you watch it endlessly?”

“Why?”

Jasper sighed and looked at the boy, jostling him under her arm as she made her way along the boardwalk. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

They made it to the library and Jasper plopped Steven down, watching the five year old shoot off like a bullet to explore the shelves excitedly. There were a few more children, and their parents, milling about, and Jasper felt quietly out of place as she leaned against a wall, arms crossed watching Steven go to the other children, distracted from his task.  
Steven was growing, he was struggling, and the Gems were also struggling with the changes. Pearl especially seemed to struggle with Steven growing more independent, needing her less. Recently he had begun to insist on making his own sandwiches. If it weren’t for the incident where he burnt himself on the stove, Jasper was sure he’d insist on making his own pancakes and other hot meals as well. Watching Steven playing with the other children, speaking with them and exploring the library while Jasper sat statue still, waiting for him to stop his exploration and enjoyment. 

“Dottie is so worried about Kindergarten,” A woman’s voice filtered over and Jasper’s head jerked around, her eyes fixating on the two humans that were speaking. A woman and a man, sitting at a table and observing their children. “I’m glad to hear that she and Joey are going to be in the same class.”

“Absolutely.” The man nodded. “Besides, Miss Fong is a very good teacher from what I hear, she’ll make sure that their experience with school is a good one, set them up for success.”  
Jasper frowned, listening to the conversation continue until the two changed subject, leaving Jasper with more questions than answers.

“Jasper, Jasper!” Steven called, and Jasper stood, lumbering over to him, careful of the children wandering around and between her legs, avoiding her massive steps easily with the sort of dexterity that made Jasper nervously think of cats and other small animals that Jasper had accidentally stepped on in the past. “Can I take these?”

“Sure.” Jasper said, smiling at the brightly coloured books and VHS tapes and CD cases that Steven collected. 

With some trial and error with the scanner for borrowing the books, a few trips to the front desk to ask questions, and Jasper and Steven were out of the library, headed back to the Temple.

Greg was there when they arrived, speaking with Pearl in the kitchen. 

The relationship the two had always been strained at best, combative at worst, but Jasper couldn’t help but be a bit pleased that Greg was there. It saved her having to hunt down his noxious looking van in the town to ask him questions. 

“Greg, what does a Kindergarten mean to humans?”

“What?” Greg asked, obviously ripped from his conversation (or argument, most likely) with Pearl. “Kindergarten?”

“Yes. Small children go to it.”

“Yeah, well, children Steven’s age tend to go, but I don’t think he needs it.” Greg said, looking at Jasper. “What brought this on.”

“We went to the library!” Steven shouted from his loft, grinning down at Greg and Pearl.

“There were other children and their parents there.” Jasper folded her arms, looking at Greg. “He needs structure. Instruction. Like all soldiers.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Steven is not a soldier. He’s not even an adult yet.”

“A Quartz is born with the capacity to take orders and instruction.” Jasper scowled. 

“Well maybe I want Steven to question the order of things more than a Quartz does? That’s the whole principle of rock and roll!”

“Steven might still develop his gem powers.” Jasper pointed out, scowling at the human. “When that happens he’ll need discipline.”

“Well that’s still some time, and we can teach him discipline here, responsibility.” Greg looked nervous at the prospect of disciplining his son, and Jasper glanced at Pearl, who was not looking pleased at this conversation. 

“He needs other humans.”

“He can socialize with other children without school. The park and the library like you did today!”

Jasper scowled before she sighed and conceded defeat. Greg was, after all, Steven’s father, and Rose wouldn’t want Greg’s decisions to be overridden. Jasper could hear her Diamond’s voice in her head, scolding her and saying that Greg was human, that he’d have a better idea of what was best for Steven. 

“Fine.” Jasper conceded, scowling at Greg. “But he starts training sooner. With me.”

Greg looked like he was about to argue, but Pearl was the one who stepped in. “Perhaps Garnet or I should start? Jasper, you’re very hard on him, and you’re quite impatient… I think it might save us tears on all fronts if it was Garnet or I. Or just me.”

“Pearl, he’s going to need real discipline, someone who expects more of him, you congratulate him on just waking up and breathing every morning.” Jasper scowled, folding her arms over her chest. 

“I think I’d prefer Garnet.” Greg said weakly. “Or Amethyst?”

“He might need discipline, but he still needs proper encouragement! You’re too hard on him, nothing is ever good for you.”

“That’s not true!”

“You just want to make sure that he’s molded in your image!”

“I want to make sure he doesn’t become like Pink!” Jasper shouted back, top of her lungs. 

The three adults froze, the sound of Steven’s new video playing upstairs. Jasper was shaking slightly, so was Pearl. Greg looked confused, but had the decency to say, “I don’t want to know.” He said quietly. “But I don’t want Steven to feel like he’s doing something wrong just by not being like everyone else.”

Jasper let out a deep breath, and Pearl did the same, the two of them staring at one another before Jasper nodded. “We’ll all train him. And then he can decide who he wants to train with more when his powers manifest.”

* * *

“You’re not his mother, Pearl.” Jasper hissed quietly, trying to keep the argument down so as not to draw Steven out of his sleep to the beach where Jasper and Pearl were arguing, pacing along the shore. 

“I’m not claiming to be!”

“You act like it.”

“Why wouldn’t I care about him he’s all that’s left of-”

“You think I don’t know that?” Jasper snapped, her fists clenching. “You think I don’t feel the same way. He’s all that’s left of her and I understand, but that doesn’t mean she would want us to baby him.”

“He’s only just manifested his powers, Jasper, go easy on him.”

“If we go easy on him then he’ll never learn self control, he’ll never learn how to handle himself.”

“He’s not a Quartz, he didn’t just spring fully formed in perfect control of everything!”

“You think I knew how to handle myself with a fraction of the control I have now?” Jasper scoffed. “You didn’t see me first form, you didn’t know how I ended up as a Captain.”

“He’s not a soldier!” Pearl shouted, her eyes wide and glistening with the beginnings of tears. 

“He’s not a baby anymore either!”

“He’s always my baby!” Pearl’s voice cracked, her fingers clenched at her chest. “H-he’s my baby. Not Rose’s. I’m the one who has taken care of him. I’m the one who practically raised him while everyone else fought.”

It was true. Jasper spent time with Steven, but it was few and far between for her to spend an entire day alone with the boy. Steven was Pearl’s through and through. She was the one he went to for comfort, for love and affection and praise. Today, when faced with who he wanted his training to be directed by, he had chosen Pearl. 

It was always Pearl. Even when Steven wasn’t Steven. When he was Rose. Pink Diamond.

“He’s not Pink Diamond. He’s not Rose Quartz. You can’t keep him all to yourself neat and protected like your room.” Jasper snapped, glaring at the Pearl.

“I-I don’t want to keep-”

“Of course you do, you always have, even when it was just you and Pink Diamond running around playing games in disguise.” Jasper grabbed at Pearl’s wrists. “You don’t care about anyone else. Just you and Pink Diamond, whatever form she might take.”

“That’s not true!” Pearl tried to rip her arm free of Jasper’s grip, only for the larger Quartz to grip her even more tightly. 

“Yes, it is. If you had your way you would have left me behind, let me believe that you and Pink Diamond, the person I was _made_ to live for were dead.” Jasper’s eyes narrowed and she stared at Pearl, her voice shaking as her grip tightened. “And you wouldn’t have felt any remorse about that, would you?”

Pearl stared up at Jasper, silent, her mouth working before she whispered, “You… You really think that?”

“Of course I do,” Jasper scoffed. “It was always you two. The rest of us were tagalongs. I wasn’t meant to know at all, was I? I just arrived at the worst time.” Her hands trembled from where they had moved to grip Pearl’s upper arms, the two of them standing too close. “You would have been happier with just you and Pink Diamond together alone wandering this world in disguise.”

“That’s no true.” Pearl whispered, staring up at Jasper. “It’s not.”

“Prove it.” Jasper sneered.

Pearl leaned in and before Jasper could pull back she had tilted her head, Pearl’s long nose brushing Jasper’s cheek as Pearl kissed her, deep and firm and quiet. 

They pulled back after a few moments and Pearl looked up at Jasper, who stared at back quietly before leaning in for another kiss.

* * *

Pink Diamond would be disappointed. She wouldn’t have believed her capable of this, of this bastardization of something that she had considered so beautiful and sacred. 

“Fuse with me!” Jasper had demanded of Lapis Lazuli, grabbing her delicate ankle and dragging her back down towards the wreckage of the ship. She knew this would result in something terrifying and monstrously huge. But monstrous was what they needed to destroy the Homeworld ship, to destroy the other Agate that had arrived and shattered the tranquility of the life that she and the other Crystal Gems had built. 

“Jasper!” The Agate shouted at her, holding a crackling destabilizer in one hand and a whip in another. The Peridot that had arrived with her had launched herself from the escape pod long ago, leaving the yellow Agate alone to face down the Crystal Gems. “You will obey orders!”

Some long buried conditioning reared it’s ugly head, and Jasper hesitated, holding her hand out to Lapis Lazuli, staring at her. “Fuse with me or I will shatter you like I should have, instead of letting them put you in that mirror.” She whispered, quiet enough that no other gem would hear the threat. 

Pink Diamond would hate her if she could see her. Maybe she could, through Steven’s eyes. She hoped that he wouldn’t hate her either as she grabbed Lapis’ wrist and pulled her into a short, violent dance, the two of them fusing together to form something else.

Something huge and looming and monstrous.

Malachite. 

The yellow Agate scrambled back, screaming in horror at the sight of them, looming and laughing and cackling as they raised a hand, lunging forward. 

Before Jasper could give the killing blow, water rose up, wrapping around her body, dragging her towards the ocean.

“What are you doing?!” She shouted at Lapis. 

“Taking my revenge for all those centuries.”

Jasper howled in terror, in pain, but she would not let herself be dragged down without finishing what she had set out to do. Without the Agate.

Her palm slammed down onto the sand and Steven and the other Crystal Gems were screaming as well, but the Agate was most terrified, cowering and trying to run on the soft sand, but Malachite’s hand grabbed at the gem, gripping tightly, tighter, tighter, until she had poofed into nothing but the hard, smooth surface of her gem, landing on the sand as waves of water clawed Malachite to the depths.

“Jasper! Lapis!” Steven’s voice cried out, and then there was nothing but the silent, deafening pressure of the ocean.

“You’re a monster.” Lapis’ voice whispered within their combined mind, and Jasper looked over at her. 

“So are you.” Jasper panted, staring at her. “You led them here. And now you’re keeping my captive.”

“I was a prisoner for centuries, for thousands of years.” Lapis snarled. “ _Your_ prisoner, the Crystal Gems’ prisoner.” She lunged forward, every ounce of wiry strength slamming into Jasper’s bulk, sending them tumbling down. “And now you’re _mine_.”

* * *

“Jasper!” Pearl’s voice was unmistakable. She had only spent millennia listening to it. She could recognize it even if she had forgotten the rest of her very existence. Which was probably why she woke up as quickly as she did, her hand pressing to her face as she groaned and rolled onto her hands and knees on the surf. 

“Jasper, are you okay? She’s going to be okay, right, Pearl?”

“Steven,” Jasper groaned, her hand reaching out to the boy, ruffling his dark curls and smiling down at him. “I’m fine, Steven.” She didn’t feel it, not with the way her muscles ached and her entire form felt on the verge of poofing, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought. “By the Star, I hate fighting Rubies.” She grumbled, kneeling in the field where they had been trying to trick the, admittedly stupid, batch of Rubies into believing they were human. 

Jasper regretted playing along with it, especially with Lapis and Peridot causing nothing but trouble and nearly blowing the cover of the group. When the Rubies had formed into an enormous Ruby, Jasper had raced out, standing between her and Steven, only to be knocked down easily. She was nothing if not tenacious, however, and had managed to scatter the Ruby into her different parts, leaving her group to more easily defeat the individuals. That didn’t stop her from feeling like the time that the Gems had stopped a runaway train a few centuries ago, Jasper landing on the tracks with only her helmet and smashing herself against the locomotive to stop it. 

“That was very foolish of you, Jasper,” Pearl scolded, though her hands were soft on Jasper’s shoulders, her back, her temple, searching out any wounds.

“Couldn’t let you be hurt,” Jasper murmured, grasping the delicate hand as she regained her composure and stood. “Come on, let’s go home before more trouble arrives.”

“What do we do with the Rubies?” Garnet asked, looking at the gems scattered around. 

“Bubble them for now.” Pearl said, before any other votes could be cast. “We can commandeer their ship, keep it at the temple.”

“And when they send more Rubies? Or Quartzes?” Jasper asked with a sigh, looking at the group. “They’ve sent an Agate. Rubies. What about Citrines? Or Amethysts? What about when the Diamonds themselves arrive to finish things?”

“Then we’ll be prepared.” Pearl snapped. “We’ll discuss this later, Jasper.”

Jasper glared at Pearl, but didn’t argue further, knowing that it was inappropriate to argue in front of Steven. They were a team. They needed to pose a united front. After all, Jasper wasn’t a Captain in Pink Diamond’s army anymore. She wasn’t following orders from her Diamond, or even from Rose Quartz, anymore. She was part of a team, who all had equal say.  
Including Steven.

“Pearl’s right,” Steven said as he looked up at Jasper. “We’ll be prepared. Let’s go home.”

* * *

If Jasper searched the deepest recesses of her memories she could recall when Pearl was first introduced to her. 

She had been a quiet, uncertain little Gem that stood beside Pink Diamond at her beck and call. Pink had been a bit of a brat, but the new colony on Earth that Yellow had cultivated carefully, prepared for Pink’s arrival, had already been running smoothly. All Pink Diamond had to do was maintain the status quo. Jasper had been assigned as her military adviser, a Captain already despite being young and from Earth itself. She knew the local fauna and flora, despite her distaste for it, and had a good grasp of the geography of the planet. It had been her job to relay that information to Pink Diamond, to give status reports, to ensure that the new batches of Amethysts, Jaspers, and Rose Quartzes were trained and given their orders. 

Pearl’s job had been to look pretty. 

And pretty she was. 

Sweet and slender and so very soft on the eyes, she had stood beside Pink Diamond, dressed in her standard uncustomized outfit and looking awkwardly up at Pink Diamond, desperate to make a good impression, to gain the approval of the capricious and immature Diamond.

Jasper had always liked seeing Pearl, had always liked giving her reports to Pink Diamond because the Pearl would always be there, dutifully recording it all, listening with rapt attention, occasionally glancing up at Pink Diamond, but keeping her eyes politely fixed upon Jasper herself.

The first time Jasper had tried to kiss Pearl, it had been in a stolen away moment beside Pink Diamond’s palanquin, Jasper giving a last minute update to a minor situation late at night. Looking back, she’d realize that likely Pink Diamond had been off running amongst the local humans disguised as Rose Quartz, and that was why Pearl had been so desperate to keep Jasper out of the palanquin. Pearl had complimented Jasper in her loyalty, her sense of duty, spiraling into compliments of her looks, her strength. It had been misread signals, or so Jasper had thought. So she had leaned in as Pearl complimented her, dainty fingers resting on Jasper’s strong arm, Jasper’s hand resting on the small of the Pearl’s back and drawing her in for a kiss. A kiss that Pearl had quickly broken and run away from. 

Standing here, now, in Pink Diamond’s Human Zoo, bathed in pink light, with Pearl by her side, playing the dutiful servant to her Sapphire, even if she played it a bit clumsily, Jasper couldn’t help but think back to those days, couldn’t help but think of how she could count on one hand the number of times she had kissed Pearl since then. 

Would they have been here, she wondered, if Pink Diamond had not abandoned her own armies, faked her own death. Would they have ended up as the guardians and caretakers of this strange construction? She wondered if it would have been just them, quietly tending to these beings that Pink Diamond had been so fascinated and enamored by. If they would have had these endless empty hallways with dozens of private nooks and crannies, perfect for hidden trysts.

“Where are the Rose Quartzes?” Sapphire asked curiously as she looked at Holly Blue Agate, the caretaker of the zoo grinning down at Sapphire with a cruel edge to her teeth. 

“Oh, they’re in this next chamber.”

The doors swung open and Jasper caught a glimpse of Steven and Greg ducking behind a pillar, her own golden eyes flicking to the two, gesturing for them to hide behind her own bulk as Holly Blue Agate froze and then saluted, the others of their group throwing up the diamond salute.

“My Diamonds!”

Blue and Yellow, in the middle of whatever bickering they had been doing, looked over, their Pearls turning to sneer down at Pearl, making Jasper frown and fold her arms, blocking out Greg and Steven as the two humans waited for their chance to dart away.

“I did not know you had returned so soon. Your Sapphire has just now arrived to prepare for your future arrival.”

“I did not send a Sapphire.” Blue Diamond frowned, looking down at the group with more scrutiny. 

“I had a vision that you would need me.” Sapphire said as smoothly as she could. Pearl’s eyes were fixed away from the Diamonds, and following her gaze, Jasper froze as well at the hundreds upon thousands of bubbled gems.

The Rose Quartzes.

They wouldn’t be able to save them all, not even a few of them if the Diamonds were here.

“Dismissed.” Yellow Diamond sneered after Sapphire and Blue Diamond’s exchange drew to a close, Jasper snapping out of her thoughts as she bowed and backed towards the doors, giving Greg and Steven a chance to run before Holly Blue Agate could see them. “And control your Pearl better, Sapphire,” Yellow Diamond snapped. “A proper pearl should not gawk or let her gaze wander from her superiors.”

Jasper had kissed Pearl four times since they had known one another, and they had never fused. But for the first time, Jasper wished she could fuse with Pearl, if only to protect her from the piercing gaze of the Diamonds.

* * *

Steven fell and Jasper could hear the crunch of his bones, of every inch of him breaking upon White Diamond’s glittering, pristine floor. His Gem was still clutched between her fingers and White Diamond released it to let it reform, shifting shapes, before settling upon the silhouette of Steven.

She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. All she could think of was pain and terror and how she had failed Steven, how she had failed Rose Quartz, how she had failed Pink Diamond.

She had failed Pearl. She had promised to protect him.

It was surreal watching Steven’s human half and gem half reconcile together, clinging to one another, reforming into a singular being. White Diamond’s tantrum began and her hold on the other Crystal Gems dropped when Steven laughed and said, “I am a child, what’s your excuse?”

Pearl raced over to Steven, hugging him and Connie together, Garnet and Amethyst piling on, and Jasper moved, kneeling next to Steven, drawing him into her arms. “My Diamond,” 

She sobbed quietly into his hair. “I thought I had lost you, Steven.”

“I’m here, Jasper.” His small arms clinging to her shoulders, Jasper stood, drawing Steven protectively to her chest. “We’re all here.”

* * *

Jasper understood a loss of purpose, probably more than any of the others, barring Pearl. Bismuth and Jasper had clashed from time to time over the years, over various things, and Jasper never quite understood why Garnet chose to be a perma-fusion, Amethyst was her own bundle of neuroses that Jasper knew she couldn’t quite compete with, but all of them had adapted to being driven by some deep internal need and purpose better than Pearl and Jasper had. Without Pink Diamond officially existing, with Rose Quartz trying to bring about a new world order among the Gems, with no more war after the final attack of the remaining Diamonds, Jasper and Pearl had struggled. Jasper was a warrior, made to follow orders, Pearl was a servant, made to cater to the whims of her master. How could they ever adapt to freedom?

But even now, looking at Steven and his struggle to find purpose outside of leadership, outside of fixing the mistakes of his mother, Jasper wondered if perhaps she and Pearl had done him a disservice by not confiding in their own failings and struggles and shortcomings.

“He needs guidance,” Jasper whispered to Pearl quietly as they stood leaning against the balcony of Steven’s home, watching him walk with Connie along the beach for a quiet picnic, encouraged by Garnet’s two components. 

“No, he needs to find himself.” Pearl whispered back, her elbow touching Jasper’s, her jacket removed for now, letting the warm summer air warm her skin. Jasper’s own usual tank top ruffled in the wind, her jeans making her legs feel a bit too warm, but she didn’t care enough to change as she leaned into Pearl’s side. “You remember that, don’t you? Finding your own purpose.”

“This is different. I had you, I had Pink. We were all struggling, confused, trying to find ourselves.” Jasper ran her hand through her mane of hair, watching Steven and Connie disappear, hand in hand. 

“He has Connie,” Pearl looked at Jasper. “She’s trying to find herself.”

“She has a better network of friends than Steven has.” Jasper pointed out. “She’s known her life path for so long. And Steven… He’s never had that chance to just be. He’s always been in Pink’s shadow.”

Pearl looked down, frowning to herself as she rested her hand on Jasper’s thick wrist, looking at her pale hand upon the striped orange and red one. “You’re right.”

“I’m going to take him camping.” Jasper said, staring at the beach, at the ocean. She sometimes thought of Lapis, Steven said that it had been years and she shouldn’t hold a grudge, but he forgot that years were different for Gems, it might as well have been last week that Lapis had held her captive for over a year, beneath the surface of the water.

“You think that’s wise?”

“I don’t.” Jasper said simply. “But I think he needs structure, and he needs discipline. And no one has given it to him as much as he needed it.”

Pearl stroked her hand over Jasper’s knuckles, lacing their fingers shyly together. Jasper looked down at their intertwined fingers before she lifted their hands so that she could kiss Pearl’s fingers gently. “Just… Don’t be too hard on him.”

“No promises, Pearl.”

* * *

Millennia of memories flashed before her eyes and Jasper knew she would not wake up the moment Steven’s shields became spiked and spread out, intent on destroying her. She stared up at him, eyes wide, frozen in place.

“Steven!” She shouted, trying to raise her arm to protect her face as the shields came crashing down. “Steven, sto-”

Darkness. 

Nothing. 

What was this? 

Death?

Pearl, forgive him, he didn’t mean to.

And then flooding, water, filling her mouth, her lungs, stinging her eyes. It wasn’t salt water, though, and there was no oppressive darkness.

Jasper reared upwards, gasping for breath, shaking and choking, coughing up water her eyes darting around before they fell on Steven, with tears running down his face, mingling with snot and drool from his sobbing mouth. Jasper, for a moment, thought of when he had been a child and cried the same way over a skinned knee or accidentally running into the table’s edge.

“You… You shattered me.”

“Jasper, I’m so sorry.” Steven sobbed, staring up at her. “I didn’t mean to.”

Jasper reached out, drawing Steven into her arms, stroking her fingers over his hair, clinging to him. “I know.” She whispered, staring off into space, listening to the other Crystal Gems pounding on the bathroom door. “I know you didn’t. I know.” She kissed his head, and when the door opened and Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst all stood in the doorway, peering in to check on Steven, they froze.

“I didn’t mean to.” Steven whispered, and Jasper knew the others had heard him from just their faces as she rubbed her broad palm over Steven’s back. 

“Steven… What did you do?” Pearl asked quietly, staring at Jasper’s face.


	2. Fragments B-Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jasper, please, maybe we could just give it a try? Just to see if… If we’re compatible in… In that way.”
> 
> Jasper pulled back, clearing her throat. “No. I don’t want to.” She released Pearl’s fingers gently. “I can’t. Not with you. Not when… When it would mean more to me than it would to you.”
> 
> “Jasper, it would mean a great deal to me! It would mean the world to me if you would just let me in!” Pearl snapped, raising her voice as Jasper pulled back even more, their arms outstretched between them. “Why won’t you let me in?”
> 
> “Because I saw the way you looked at Rose. It was always you and Rose.” Jasper narrowed her eyes as she set her jaw. “You didn’t look at me like that, not until she was gone.”
> 
> “Jasper-”
> 
> “I won’t be second best.” Jasper stepped back, adding to the distance between them, their hands falling to their sides. “I won’t live in Rose’s shadow all my life, especially not in your eyes.”

“A prime specimen, the perfect beginning of your empire.”

“It’s… A Jasper.” Pink Diamond’s lips were pulled into a displeased moue and Jasper now knew what it was like to be a disappointment in every way.

“Jaspers are a good start.” Yellow Diamond huffed, glaring down at Pink. “They are sturdy, strong, dependable, loyal.”

“They’re _yours_ , though. So what, this one is going to be my babysitter?”

“No, this one is yours.” Yellow hummed. “One of the few good specimens from Earth, but the Beta Kindergarten is just that, a Beta. We’ll find a proper location for the Prime Kindergarten.” 

“Well can’t you make them different? Not like this one?” A pink gloved hand gestured to Jasper in her entirety and Jasper tried so hard to keep her shoulders from slumping, but they did droop by millimeters. “It’s too much like your soldiers.”

“Fine, I’ll make some adjustments and we can get you something else… How do…” Yellow Diamond hummed and stared at Jasper, measuring her up and finding her flawless, but it wasn’t Yellow Diamond’s opinion that mattered. Yellow Diamond was not her Diamond, Pink Diamond was her Diamond. Pink Diamond’s opinion was the one that mattered. “Amethysts.” Yellow Diamond concluded. “A nice Prime Kindergarten filled with Amethysts.”

“Perfect!” Pink grinned widely. “And Rose Quartzes?”

“Ugh, if you insist.” Yellow sighed. “But keep this Jasper.” She gestured to Jasper, who straightened slightly and moved her arms into a salute. “She’s a perfect specimen, it would be a shame to waste her.”

“Ugh, I suppose.” Pink Diamond sighed, looking at Jasper with a disapproving look. “I’d like her more if she was a Rose Quartz.”

The two Diamonds turned, walking away, Pink Diamond jumping and bouncing around Yellow Diamond, chattering about her plans for her colony, leaving Jasper to walk alongside Pink Diamond and Yellow Diamond’s Pearls. 

“Hmph!” Yellow Diamond's Pearl huffed, staring up at Jasper. “I don’t like gems so… Big. Cumbersome.”

“I think she’s perfect.” The other Pearl, a standard issue one from the looks of her outfit, looked up at Jasper with a pale blue flush. “You’re quite stunning.”

Jasper scowled down at the two Pearls. “You don’t matter.” She grunted, looking toward the two Diamonds. “Only Pink Diamond matters.”

* * *

An enormous palm slammed into the wall beside the retail employee that was currently restocking the ice creams, making the teen yelp and duck away.

“U-um… He-hello, can I help you?” He asked, staring up at Jasper, the Gem scowling at the human. 

“I need all your cookie cat ice creams.”

“The uh?” The teen looked over at the cabinet, and pointed to the packages of cookie cats. “They’re right there.”

“All of them.” Jasper said simply. 

“Uh… Let me go check the back for more stock?” The young man vanished to the back, leaving Jasper standing beside the fridge full of ice creams, peering at the colorful packages of different ice creams. 

She didn’t see the appeal, she preferred meat when she did eat, the sickeningly sweet taste of ice cream made her teeth ache the few times she’d eaten it to appease Steven. 

After some whispering, and the young retail worker peering out of the back along with a couple other employees, they came out with a large box of the ice creams, holding it out to Jasper. “So, this is all we have.” He looked up at her, and Jasper grunted, taking the box and walking out the door.

“Did you get it?” Pearl asked from where she was waiting outside to keep an eye out for Steven. She didn’t want to ruin the surprise, which is why she had insisted on this strange pseudo-mission. Jasper nodded, handing Pearl the fistful of dollar bills that Pearl had given her earlier. “Oh, it didn’t cost as much as I thought, maybe they’re having a sale?”

“I didn’t pay for them.” Jasper said simply, looking down at Pearl, who’s eyes widened as she stared at Jasper. 

“You _stole_ them?”

“No, I just didn’t pay.”

Pearl let out a frustrated groan, snatching the money from Jasper’s hand and stomping inside the store in a very ungraceful way. Jasper sighed, waiting for Pearl to return, the other Gem giving her a stern look. “You gave those poor workers a fright. They were about to call the police.”

“But they didn’t.” Jasper said simply, smirking down at Pearl.

“You are a bully.”

“Not always.”

“Most of the time.” Pearl huffed.

“Most of the time.” Jasper agreed as they began the walk back to the temple. “But Steven will be very happy about his ice creams.”

Pearl smiled up at Jasper, and Jasper smiled back, the two of them walking quietly side by side. Pearl’s hand reached out after a moment, resting on Jasper’s waist for a moment as the two of them walked. Jasper couldn’t help but feel a warmth licking at her heart at the feeling of Pearl so close, enjoying the rare quiet between the two of them.

* * *

“Did you even wonder who I used to be?” Lapis screamed, wielding the ocean water, throwing it at Garnet, pinning the perma-fusion in place as the other gems moved to fight her. 

“Lapis!” Jasper snarled, thundering over the beach sand towards the gem. 

“You! You tried to shatter me!” Lapis screamed, turning her attention away from Garnet, smashing several thousand tons of water into the much larger gem, causing Jasper to stumble back onto the sand, gasping and shaking as the water pounded over her endlessly. “Let me return the favor!”

Jasper’s helmet activated, covering her gem as she was thrown backwards, the waves of water pounding over her, filling her lungs and mouth, her entire body shaking with the force of the waves upon her. If she poofed it was over, she wouldn’t be able to keep up the helmet, she’d be shattered.

“Lapis, no!” Steven’s voice called out and Jasper felt his warm hands on her body, his tears on her face as he hunched over her protectively. “Lapis, this isn’t right! Gems should be friends!”

“Not these monsters.” Lapis sneered and Jasper opened her eyes, wrapping her arm protectively around Steven. “You don’t know what they’ve done to me, to everyone here on earth!”

Jasper held Steven close, closing her eyes before she released him, turning and threw her fist towards Lapis, only for an enormous hand of water to slam into her body, crushing her lungs and ribs, sending her falling back onto the sand, her physical form loosening, turning to nothing but dust.

Jasper regenerated as fast as she could, but the damage still postponed her for several hours, her body struggling to recover from the physical damage to her gem. By the time she had regenerated the ocean was long gone, and Steven and the rest of the Crystal Gems had left to find it, leaving only a note posted on the refrigerator to tell Jasper that they’d “Be back soon! Hugs and kisses, Steven”.

Stepping out of the house, Jasper froze at the sight of humans congregated on what was once the beach, but now looked more like a stretch of strange desert. They were panicking, frantic and shouting, demanding answers from Mayor Dewey. Climbing down the wooden stairs, Jasper sighed as she approached the crowd. Garnet hated talking to crowds, and Jasper wasn’t nearly as well spoken as Pearl, or as approachable as Amethyst, but she had been a commander once, a thousand lifetimes ago.

“Oh! Jasper!” Mayor Dewey was drenched in sweat and Jasper made sure to stay at least an arm’s length (her arm’s length) away from the man. “What on earth happened to the ocean?” He asked frantically, his voice wavering. 

Jasper sighed, her arms crossed as she looked out to the water, turning back to the panicking humans. “Lapis Lazuli has done something, I don’t know what, but I promise you that it will be resolved soon.”

“When will we get the beach back?” Kofi asked, staring up at Jasper with a defiant frustration. She had clashed with the abrasive human enough times to know that he likely wasn’t going to like her answer, irregardless of what it was.

“I don’t know.” Jasper gritted out. “But I do know that for now, you had best prepare for something big.”

“What sort of things?” Vidalia asked, holding Onion’s hand to keep him from running off. 

Jasper silently stared at the community, breathing deeply before she said, as honestly as she could, “I don’t know. And that is the truth.”

The crowd began to disperse and Jasper sighed, clenching her fists before she turned towards the ocean, sitting on the sand where the ocean used to lap at the edge. 

“Hey, Jas, how’s it going?” Barbara sat next to Jasper in her postal service uniform, staring at the vast emptiness of what was once the ocean. 

“I’m…” Jasper sighed, her shoulders heaving in frustration. “Does it ever get easier?”

“What? Aren’t you the one I’m supposed to ask that?” Barbara laughed, turning to look at Jasper. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, fumbling through her pockets for a lighter before she located one. Jasper sighed, watching Barbara light the cigarette before offering it to her.

“Never understood these things.”

“Meh, maybe it’s a human thing.” Barbara laughed around the cigarette. “Sadie keeps trying to get me to quit. But once you get the big C what’s the point of quitting?”

“I don’t understand human colloquialisms such as that.” Jasper sighed, puffing at the cigarette and watching clouds of smoke billow from her lips. “I mean with human children. Does it ever get less terrifying whenever they do something… Ill advised?”

“Stupid. The word you’re looking for is stupid, Jas.” Barbara chuckled, blowing a cloud of smoke. “And I don’t think so. Sadie is an adult woman and I still worry about her. And she’s just your average human. Nothing like what Steven is meant to be.”

Jasper sighed, rubbing at her face, her finger trailing over the edge of her gem. “You’re not very reassuring, Babs.”

“You don’t like me because I’m reassuring. You like me because I don’t pull my punches.”

Jasper huffed, looking at the filter of the cigarette. “Okay.” She sighed, popping the filter into her mouth and chewing it. “Time to get to work.”

“That never fails to both fascinate and disgust me,” Barbara sighed, standing up and following Jasper towards the town. “What are you going to do?”

“Reinforce the town. When the water comes back what are the chances of it staying neatly where it once was?”

* * *

“This is foolish,” Jasper sighed as she looked at Alexandrite. “I refuse to partake in this.”

“Aaw, come on, Jasper!” Steven stared up at her, Jasper frowning as she folded her arms. “Please? You’re part of my family, and Connie said that I have a nuclear family and I can’t have dinner with my whole family without you there!”

“I can be an Aunt.” 

“No, I want you to be my mom too!”

Jasper made a face, staring at the others before she sighed and looked at the group, stepping forward and holding out her hands to Alexandrite. Forming Tourmaline was always uncomfortable, but with the anxiety of the situation of meeting the Maheswarans made it even more difficult and uncomfortable to fuse. 

“You’re amazing!” Steven screamed, staring up at Tourmaline, who folded her numerous arms and let out a sigh. 

“Let’s go, we’re late.”

This was a mistake and would end in disaster, but if it made Steven happy, she’d be willing to do it.

Greg and Steven climbed onto Tourmaline’s broad shoulders, Greg stumbling and wavering a bit on the surface as the enormous fusion lumbered along the beachfront towards the restaurant that Steven was loudly directing her towards.

“Um, hi, I’m Greg Universe. And this tall drink of water is Tourmaline.” Greg introduced as Tourmaline crouched before the stunned and gawking Maheswarans. 

“Priyanka,” Dr. Maheswaran said curtly. “And this is my husband, Doug.”

“A pleasure.” Tourmaline replied, her low, rumbling voice nearly subvocal through the air. 

This was going to be a _disaster_.

* * *

“When you lead you’re the frame,” Jasper took Pearl’s hand, Steven watching quietly from the couch while Jasper stood, twirling Pearl gently through the steps. “You are the frame, your partner is a painting.” She twirled Pearl, her fingers wrapping around the slender gem’s waist, sending her backwards into a dip. “You are there simply to show how beautiful they are, how beautiful you are together.”

“So when you and Pearl fuse, what do you become?” Steven asked, looking at the two of them with wide, adoring eyes. 

Jasper released Pearl quickly, staring at her before she looked down at their hands, still joined for a moment before Jasper released Pearl’s delicate fingers. “We don’t know.” 

“What do you mean?” Steven asked, confused as he stared at them. “You mean you’ve never fused?”

“Not for lack of opportunity.” Pearl said, trying to keep her tone even. “We’ve formed Tourmaline, but we’ve never fused just the two of us.”

“W-well why not?” Steven asked, looking between the two of them. “Can… _Can_ Jasper fuse?”

Jasper cleared her throat, looking at Steven before she gave a smile. “I can. I’m just very particular about who I fuse with. Kind of like how Pearl is so picky about how things are cleaned up around here.” She hoped the joke would deflect the conversation. Pearl’s indignant squawk caused Steven and the others to laugh, and Jasper pulled back a step more. “Fusing isn’t the end all be all of making a good fighting team. Pearl and I have worked and fought together long before we met Garnet and Amethyst and we never needed to fuse for that.”

“But… Doesn’t it feel good to be close to someone?”

“It does.” Pearl said softly, looking at Jasper. “But, Steven, Jasper and I… We have a complicated past, and Jasper and I have spent centuries - millennia, even - working through all of that. Some people just need more time.”

“And there’s no shame in that,” Jasper placed her hand on Steven’s head, ruffling his curls. “Fusing makes you stronger, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be strong on your own.”

“Hmm… You’ve all given me quite a bit to think about.” Steven said, staring off into space pensively. Only to jump and smile brightly when his phone lit up with Connie’s picture and contact. “Connie! Okay, thanks everyone, I’m going to go take this!” He darted off, answering the call and chattering with Connie, making plans. 

Jasper sighed, her shoulders slumping as she turned and looked at Pearl. “I’m going to go fix the…” She looked around then cleared her throat. “Something inside the temple.”

Pearl watched her leave and Jasper was grateful that none of them followed her through the door leading down to the heart of the temple. She stood, staring at the perfectly blown glass heart, pulsing energy through the temple to the tune of a very human heartbeat, steady and more rapid than any Gem’s resting beat. She sighed, staring at the corrupted, bubbled gems, brushing her fingers over fallen comrades that floated idly past her head. 

“Jasper?” Pearl’s voice floated over to her and Jasper sighed, looking over at Pearl, letting her hand drop. 

“Look, can we not talk about it?” Jasper sighed, running her hand through her untamed mane of hair. 

“We don’t have to talk.” Pearl quietly rested her hand on the crook of Jasper’s elbow. “But I enjoyed dancing with you. You always make me feel…” Jasper looked at Pearl, silently covering Pearl’s hand with her own. “Perfect.” Pearl breathed quietly, staring at Jasper’s yellow eyes, her own glittering blue gaze fixed silently on Jasper. “You make me feel perfect.”

Jasper drew Pearl close, twirling her gently, guiding her through a slow dance, the two of them staring at one another before Jasper cleared her throat, staring at Pearl’s gem before she dipped Pearl low, her fingers cradling the small of the other gem’s back. “You remember Carmen?”

“How could I forget?”

“The Opera-Comique,” Jasper murmured.

“Paris.” Pearl smiled. “It was so beautiful.”

“Rose hated that opera.” Jasper hummed, stroking her fingers over Pearl’s jaw. 

“You and I watched it every week.” Pearl rested her fingers on the back of Jasper’s shoulders, her gem glittered and then music began to play, crisp and clear, an orchestra playing without the distortion of recording, her memories more crisp and clear and precise than any other recording device they could have had. “You cried every time Carmen was stabbed.”

“You cried too.” Jasper twirled Pearl, pulling her so that her back was to Jasper’s chest, the two of them feeling their breaths hitching in tandem as they danced to the orchestra. “And then-”

“We almost fused.” Pearl murmured and Jasper froze, her hand on Pearl’s waist, staring over the other gem’s head, at the projection of the two of them, in a box seat in the Opera-Comique, dancing together to the music, the audience paying them no mind. Their gems glowing gently in the memory. 

Jasper released Pearl, stepping back and staring at her. “We stopped.” Her voice came out much more firm than she had intended, causing Pearl to flinch, the two of them staring at one another. 

“We always end up here.” Pearl whispered, staring at her. “Why don’t we just.. Just once, to see?”

Jasper stared down at her, feeling every muscle lock up as Pearl’s fingers brushed over her cheek, stroking over her jaw, up, underneath her eye, over to the sharp line of her gem. “Pearl.” She grabbed at Pearl’s hand, gripping it tightly, enough to make the smaller gem flinch.

“Jasper, please, maybe we could just give it a try? Just to see if… If we’re compatible in… In that way.”

Jasper pulled back, clearing her throat. “No. I don’t want to.” She released Pearl’s fingers gently. “I can’t. Not with you. Not when… When it would mean more to me than it would to you.”

“Jasper, it would mean a great deal to me! It would mean the world to me if you would just let me in!” Pearl snapped, raising her voice as Jasper pulled back even more, their arms outstretched between them. “Why won’t you let me in?”

“Because I saw the way you looked at Rose. It was always you and Rose.” Jasper narrowed her eyes as she set her jaw. “You didn’t look at me like that, not until she was gone.”

“Jasper-”

“I won’t be second best.” Jasper stepped back, adding to the distance between them, their hands falling to their sides. “I won’t live in Rose’s shadow all my life, especially not in your eyes.”

* * *

“Jasper?” Steven called from his loft, and Jasper looked up from where she had been sitting on the couch, staring off into space. 

“Steven, what are you doing up?” She asked, climbing up the stairs to the loft and sitting on the edge of Steven’s bed. “Bad dream?”

“I know what everyone did.” He whispered, looking at his hands as they fiddled with the edge of the comforter. “With the tests. You rigged them so that I’d always win.”

Jasper considered lying, but she didn’t like lying, even gentle well meaning lies. “We did.” 

Steven looked up at Jasper, frowning. “You don’t think I can do Gem things.”

A moment of silence dragged on, Jasper mulling over her words before she stroked over Steven’s hair. “We thought that if you failed, that you would be discouraged from learning and training more seriously.” No use in throwing the others under the bus, even if she didn’t appreciate the decisions that the group had made. 

“So you think I’m weak,” Steven frowned, looking more serious than Jasper could recall him looking.

“I think you’re like your mother.” Steven’s eyes widened and looked up at Jasper in surprise. Jasper rarely spoke about Rose, and when she did it was to tell Steven stories. “Your mother wasn’t always a good leader. Sometimes, in the beginning, she was impatient, capricious, and didn’t take kindly to failures.”

“But… I want to be better.”

“And that’s where you are different from your mother, Steven.” Jasper stroked her fingers over his back, soothing until Steven leaned into her side sleepily. “You’re very practical, eager to learn. Yes, you don’t like failure, but you learn from your mistakes, you take lessons imparted and apply them to your life nearly immediately.” Jasper smiled. “What we did before… That was a disservice to you. We did not give you the opportunity to get better, to improve, to learn.”

“I want real training, though.” Steven said, staring up at Jasper. “Will you train me?”

Jasper thought for a moment, staring down at Steven before she smiled. “How about we go camping? Just you and I? And we can train.”

Steven gasped with all of the over-enthusiasm that Jasper had come to expect from Steven, looking up at Jasper and grinning. “You hate camping.”

“So do you.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been!”

“Don’t worry, you will.” Jasper sighed, smiling as she ruffled Steven’s short black curls. “I won’t go easy on you, Steven.” She says, looking down at him and stroking his fingers over the boy’s hair. “I’m not going to just let you coast along, you’re going to need to work for my approval when it comes to training.”

“But you’ll always love me, right? Even when I mess up?”

“Of course I will, Steven,” Jasper smiled at the boy. “Just like Garnet and Pearl and Amethyst will always love you, no matter what.”

* * *

“Jasper! Jasper! Jasper! Jasper!” Steven and Connie raced up to Jasper, the Gem taking in their bundled up forms, and Connie’s large backpack.

“Oh no.” She crossed her arms. “What do you two want?”

“Connie wants to go on our camping trip!” Steven excitedly bubbled, his eyes wide as he stared up at her pleadingly. 

“Connie, does your mother know what camping trips entail?” Jasper asked, folding her arms. 

“She knows they involve training?” Connie nodded rapidly, not dissuading Jasper’s skepticism in the least. “Of the violent variety?”

“Yeah!” 

Jasper sighed but the combined stares of the two children made her resolve waver. “Alright.” She stared at the two. “You two are going to look after one another, correct? We’re going to be hunting corrupted gems on this trip and I can’t have you two getting yourselves into danger.”

“We promise! We promise!” The two chorused, laughing and jumping happily around Jasper’s thick legs, the larger gem sighing and crossing her arms as she gave them a disapproving look. 

“Oh, um… Okay. Serious.” Steven breathed deeply, staring at Jasper, Connie composing herself as well.

“A few rules for camping, Connie.” Jasper placed her hands on her hips. “We train during camping, and the training can be intense. We focus on survival and we focus on accomplishing the mission. Your mission this time around will be to help locate two corrupted gems that have been prowling around our usual campsite.”

“You’ll know them! They’re big and furry! Like rhino-dog-lion things!” Steven grinned widely. “We saw them last time, and training had to be cut short because we were caught by surprise.”

“Yes, but now we’re going with the express purpose of capturing the corrupted gems.” Jasper ruffled both of their heads. “Now. Bundle up, we’re going to be moving a lot, but it will still be cold at first.”

“Okay, we can handle that!” Connie’s face settled into a stoic look, one that made Jasper smile from how much it resembled Pearl’s. “We won’t let you down, Jasper!”

“You two never could.” Jasper laughed, ruffling their hair.

* * *

“Brute!” Bismuth roared, slamming into Jasper, sending the Quartz tumbling to the ground, lifting her morphed hand and turning it into a hammer.

“Fool!” Jasper’s helmet formed around her face, blocking the blow. 

“Monster!” Bismuth snarled, straddling Jasper and raising her hammer over her head again, the breaking point strapped to her other arm.

“What does that make you?” Jasper headbutted Bismuth’s own head hard enough to make the other gem stumble back, clutching at her face. 

“You never believed in the cause!” Bismuth snarled, grabbing at Jasper’s shirt.

“Jasper! Bismuth!” Steven shouted, but the two Gems drowned it out with the sound of their conflict.

“You never believed in Rose!”

“I believed in Rose more than you ever could!” Jasper snarled, grabbing at Bismuth’s apron and slamming her onto her anvil, slamming her over and over again until Bismuth’s eyes glazed. “Isn’t that why she bubbled you and left you to rot?”

“Jasper, that’s enough!” Steven shouted, and Jasper froze, staring at Bismuth, trembling with rage. 

“It was never enough. Not for Bismuth, not for Rose.” Jasper snarled, grabbing hold of the breaking point, her fingers making the metal groan. “She never needed this. She had me!”

Bismuth roared, knocking Jasper off of her body, screaming and roaring as the two stumbled towards the lava, a pair of wild animals shrieking in rage and visceral hatred.

Jasper choked as Bismuth’s hand, morphed into a blade, sliced at her chest and stomach, falling to the ground as Bismuth grabbed the breaking point, putting it on her arm, holding it out to Jasper’s head, right in front of the struggling Quartz’s gem. 

“Once a Homeworld soldier, always a Homeworld soldier!” Bismuth snarled, Jasper frozen in place, in terror, staring down the breaking point. “You were probably the one who sold us out. Who told Pink Diamond every plan we ever had.” Bismuth’s fingers grabbed hold of Jasper’s jaw. 

“I should have shattered you.” Jasper whispered, staring at Bismuth. “Rose bubbling you was a mercy.”

“You should have.” Bismuth stared down at Jasper. “Then this wouldn’t happen.”

The hammer of the breaking point pulled back and Jasper closed her eyes, her hands gripping Bismuth’s wrist as she roared in defiance.

She would show Steven a warrior’s death, she would not show him fear.

“No!” Steven’s voice cried out and Bismuth gasped. Jasper’s eyes opened and she froze, staring up at the sight of Rose’s sword inches from her face, sunk into Bismuth’s stomach, just below her gem.

Steven’s tears dripped down his face, landing on Jasper’s gem, and in another life they had been healing tears, but for now, for this moment, they were only salt and water, mourning the loss of something intangible that might have never meant to be, or might have never come to pass without him.

* * *

“Jasper?” Pearl called out, walking through the enormous sandstone canyon, looking up at the exit holes. She knew there was Jasper’s somewhere. She had gone back to the Beta kindergarten so many times to retrieve the Quartz that she was surprised that she hadn’t memorized the path to the hole. The wind whipped through the brightly shining dessert and Pearl stared at the hole where Jasper’s gem glinted and caught the light. Jasper stared at the piece of glass in her hand, turning it over and over, quietly observing the sun glinting off of it before she tossed it aside, reaching down to the once smooth surface of her hole and ripping up another chunk of glass from the edge of the hole, turning it over and over before she tossed it aside as well.

“Jasper, I know you hear me!” Pearl called, jumping up the side of the wall to land beside Jasper, delicately crossing her legs. She looked out over the thick red and orange sandstone and thought about how Jasper could go for months in this environment, hidden away, undetected by anyone with her natural camouflage. “What’s wrong?”

Jasper sighed, dropping the piece of glass and letting her hand rest on her knee. “I… I sometimes still think of Lapis. Of Malachite.” She clenched her fist. “So I come here. It’s as far from the ocean as it can be.” 

“Oh, Jasper…” Pearl whispered, staring at her. “I… I didn’t realize. You used to love the ocean, you’d walk on the beach for days.”

“Yes.” Jasper sighed, looking away. “And now, Malachite is all I can think of some nights.”

“Oh…” Pearl’s hand rested on her lips as she stared at Jasper, her eyes filled with so much pity it grated on Jasper’s pride. “You hated fusion, and now you’ve just got a worse impression of it than before.”

“I didn’t hate fusion.” She snapped, clenching her fist as she sighed. “I just…” Jasper looked away. “Pearl… I wanted my first fusion to be with you.” She sighed. “I wanted that since I met you. But first we didn’t even know that two gems of different types could fuse, it seemed like an impossibility. Then we met Garnet, but you were so wrapped up in Pink Diamond. And it just… After Steven was born it… You were so desolate. You mourned for so long and I thought you’d mourn for centuries more.” Jasper rubbed her eyes, her fingers running through her mane. “I didn’t plan to fuse with Lapis, Pearl. I planned - I _dreamed_ \- of the day that you and I could… Would…”

Pearl stared up at Jasper, her breath so quiet that Jasper was sure she had stopped breathing entirely, until Pearl leaned up, kissing Jasper softly, her palm pressed firmly to Jasper’s square jaw, drawing her close, the kiss seeming to go on for an eternity. 

Jasper’s arm wrapped tightly around Pearl’s thin waist, deepening the kiss and choking on a sob as Pearl leaned into their embrace, the smaller gem tilting her head so that their mouths slotted more easily together, her nose brushing over Jasper’s gem, her sigh brushing against the smooth surface, making Jasper shiver at the feeling. 

When their gems began to glow, Jasper jerked back, turning her head away, staring out into the sandstone canyon as Pearl gasped in surprise.

“Just… Tell the others I’ll be back in a couple of days.” Jasper whispered, sliding off of the edge of her hole and disappearing around a corner. 

“Jasper! Wait!” Pearl leapt off the edge of the hole, racing after the other gem, only to freeze at the sight of the empty canyon, Jasper nowhere to be seen.

* * *

“O-oh!” Jasper’s eyes snapped open at the sound of a Pearl’s voice, a deep breath escaping from Jasper’s lungs as she opened her eyes.

There was a… Strange congregation of Gems in this bizarre wooden base, but as Jasper’s eyes found her Diamond she fell to her knee in a deep bow, her arms crossed in the salute. 

“My Diamond, I am at your command.” She rumbled, standing at attention. “I await your orders.”

“Jasper!” Her Diamond shouted, grasping her wrist. “Jasper, snap out of it, something is wrong!”

“You must be right!” The Pearl trilled, singing brightly. “This is a Jasper, she obeys orders without delay! You’ll never find a more loyal quartz! That’s what the Agates say!”

Pearls were known to be delightful singers, beautiful decorations on the arms of the elite, but she had never seen one so… Captivating. Her eyes flicked away from the Pearl to focus on her Diamond, straightening her back and squaring her shoulders, prepared to take orders.

“My Diamond,” She cleared her throat. “What are your orders?”

“Jasper, no, I… I don’t have any orders for you.” Her Diamond’s eyes were wide and distressed, but Jasper couldn’t think of anything she had said or done that could have caused such upset.

“Then I await them.” Jasper stood ramrod straight, her gaze fixed ahead, waiting for her Diamond’s whims.

She waited silently, staring as a pink Spinel manifested to entertain her Pink Diamond, and Jasper couldn’t help but internally groan. Spinels were annoying at best, but this one was… Obnoxious. Even her Diamond seemed overwhelmed by the Spinel’s enthusiasm. Jasper looked over at the Pearl, staring at the lovely figure as she fawned over her Uhmgreguniverse. Pearls all looked the same without their customizations being set, but this Pearl was… Flawless. Her gem gleamed at her forehead, her pale peach hair swept back, the filmy, nearly transparent layers of her dress swathed around her long, slender limbs. She was perfect in a way that felt blasphemous to even think about in the presence of a Diamond. Jasper couldn’t help but follow Pearl’s movements with her eyes, and feel slightly bereft when Uhmgreguniverse left the poorly built wooden fortress, his Pearl following behind him.

“Jasper?” Pink Diamond spoke up and Jasper saluted, turning to stare at her Diamond. 

“Yes, My Diamond?”

“It’s just Steven, Jasper.” He stared up at her before he sighed. “How about you go stick with Pearl? You always like hanging out with her.”

“I’ve never affiliated with a Pearl before.” Jasper growled, staring at her Diamond. 

“Oh, come on, Jasper, please? Just hang out with Pearl, keep an eye on her, I’ll meet up with you later.”

“I’m your Jasper, not the guardian of some Pearl!”

“Jasper!” Pink Diamond snapped. “This is an order. Stick to Pearl’s side. And don’t let her out of your sight.”

Jasper scowled, staring at her Diamond, before she spoke, through gritted teeth. “Yes. My Diamond.”

She left the poorly constructed base and followed the head of peach hair, catching up easily with Pearl and the Uhmgreguniverse. 

“Pearl!” She snapped, and the Pearl turned and looked up at her, the Uhmgreguniverse turning to look at her curiously as well. “Pink Diamond has ordered me to escort you through your duties.”

“Ah, you mean Uhmgreguniverse!”

“No. You.” Jasper clenched her fist, staring down at the beautiful gem before her. “I am to guard and escort you.”

“O-oh?” A light turquoise flush coated the Pearl’s cheeks and she gave a small, nervous titter. “W-well… I’ve never heard of a Jasper being assigned to guard a Pearl before.” Jasper growled, crossing her arms over her chest. It didn’t escape her notice that the Pearl’s eyes glided over her arms, settling on her face after a moment. “I suppose I could get used to it, however.”

The Uhmgreguniverse made a face before he nervously laughed. “Oh boy.”

* * *

“Hey, Pearl…” Amethyst’s attempt at a whisper always ended up being more of a stage whisper, as if she wanted her audience to be in on the secret she was trying to share. “She hasn’t moved in like… Four hours.”

“Amethyst, you know how Jasper is.” Pearl’s voice sounded uncertain despite her confident words. “I’m sure it’s just that she’s worried for Steven.”

“You don’t think he… He really broke her. Right? I mean. She was shattered, but he put her back together right away! It’s can’t cause permanent damage, right?”

“Amethyst.” Jasper called from her seat next to the warp pad. She didn’t move from her position, leaning forward in her chair, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands laced together in front of her chin and mouth.

“Yeah, Jasper?”

“Go away.”

Amethyst sighed and frowned before she made her way out of the room, closing the door behind her. Jasper didn’t need to turn to know that Pearl was still there.

“Jasper…”

“I pushed him too hard.” Jasper murmured, speaking into her laced fingers as if she could capture the words and keep them to herself.

“What happened out there, Jasper?” Pearl asked softly, kneeling beside the larger gem, her dainty hand resting on the crook of Jasper’s elbow. “Why would he… He hurt you. He’s never done that before.”

“I pushed him. I thought that if he got in touch with his powers, with his Gem side, that he’d be more confident, that he’d feel like he had a real connection with Pink, something to focus on, to hone just like every other skill.” Jasper sighed, rubbing her eyes. “I pushed him right over the edge and I didn’t realize it until it was too late.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that.” Pearl whispered, her fingers stroking the soft skin in the crook of Jasper’s elbow. “You couldn’t have known. None of us could even fathom Steven doing anything like that.”

“She would have.” Jasper whispered, her palm moving to cover Pearl’s, dwarfing her hand in larger digits. “Pink was a temperamental person at best. When she was younger she was a hellion.”

“Cracking walls, shattering glass.” Pearl whispered with a sigh, looking down. “No one could stop her when she got into one of her fits.”

“And Steven has had it harder than Pink ever did. Even when we were fighting the war. He’s been paying for her mistakes his entire life, and when I pushed him, told him to train harder, to be better, that he was disappointing me…” Jasper sighed, closing her eyes and letting a few tears fall. “I was too hard on him. I was always too hard on him.”


	3. Fragments Cover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper hummed, sipping at the tea. “Dr. Maheswaran-”
> 
> “Priyanka.” The woman corrected, looking up at Jasper.
> 
> “Priyanka.” Jasper echoed. “Connie is confident in her decision. She needs your support, not your approval.”
> 
> “She should have asked my permission.”
> 
> “Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”

“You’re a novelty, at _best_.”

Jasper scoffed from where she was standing stacking up Greg’s equipment, listening to Pearl’s cutting remarks and Greg’s righteous indignation. “What makes you so sure?”

“Because, you’re human. Fusion is the ultimate connection between gems, and you can’t fuse, ergo, you’ll never have that connection with Rose.”

“Well has any human _tried_?” Greg asked, causing Pearl to sputter and Jasper to scoff. 

Pearl stepped aside, leaving Greg to clean up, with Jasper and Amethyst as his only help.

“What crawled up her…” Greg froze at the sight of Jasper. “O-oh, uh. Sorry, didn’t mean to talk smack about your girl.”

“She’s not my girl.” Jasper grunted, lifting sound equipment into Greg’s van. 

“Oh-oh… So she’s Rose’s?”

“Pearl belongs to Pearl.” Jasper sighed, sitting down on the edge of Greg’s van. Her thick leather jacket squeaked as she folded her arms, looking at Greg. “You’re really going to give this fusion bullshit a chance?”

“It’s not bullshit, it matters to Gems!” Greg glared at Jasper. “You’re a Gem, how come you don’t believe in it!”

Jasper looks at Greg, folding her arms. “One on one? I’ve never fused. It doesn’t matter in the long run if you fuse or not.”

“So… You’ve never fused, just you and someone else?” Greg looked up at her in confusion, quietly searching her face. 

“Never.” Jasper said firmly. “When I fuse, one on one, for the first time, I’m going to fuse with someone that I love.” Jasper’s eyes trailed over to Pearl, who was talking with Garnet quietly, watching Jasper and Greg sitting in Greg’s van. “Fusing doesn’t matter, what matters is the love behind it.”

“She… She really is your girl, huh?”

Jasper watched Pearl for a few more moments. “Back on Homeworld there’s thousands of Pearls. But there’s only one like her.” Jasper clenched her fingers. “There’s no one else like her, not anywhere.” 

“You know…” Greg looked up at Jasper. “I’m really rooting for you two.”

Jasper looked away from Pearl to Greg, smiling at him slightly. “I’m rooting for you too. Rose really likes you.”

“You think?” Greg perked up, grinning at Jasper. 

“Yeah.” Jasper grinned back. “You just have to take that Rock and Roll and make it just a little softer.”

“Really?” Greg hummed and rubbed his chin contemplatively. “I think I can work with that.”

* * *

“She told me _everything_!” Pearl’s sob cracked on that word, staring at the others, Jasper stepping between Pearl and Steven, her hand reaching behind her to protectively shield Steven as Pearl clutched at the scabbard. 

“Rose had a lot of secrets.” Jasper whispered, her eyes hard as they fixed on Pearl.

“Not from me!” Jasper froze, staring at Pearl and setting her jaw. 

“Be that as it may. Don’t take it out on Steven.”

Pearl froze before she turned, racing to the warp still clutching the scabbard.

“Pearl!” Steven shouted, running to the warp.

“Steven!”

“I’ll go with him.” Jasper looked at Garnet and Amethyst, staring at the two. “He deserves to know. They need this.” She stepped onto the warp pad with Steven, letting the two of them be whisked to Pearl’s drop off location. They couldn’t see Pearl, but Jasper knew where she was going, how could she forget?

Carrying Steven on her shoulders, Jasper made the leaps across floating piles of earth and vines, her hair whipping about their faces as Steven called out Pearl’s name.

When they stopped Pearl was sitting on soft grass, staring off into the middle distance. 

“Pearl?” Steven asked, cautious as he was let down from Jasper’s shoulders, the Quartz standing a few paces away, watching the two interact, ready to step in if Pearl lashed out. 

“Do you remember this place?” Pearl asked softly, and Jasper felt her hackles raise, her brows drawing down as her jaw set. “Do you remember me? What our lives were like? Do you remember anything?” Pearl still didn’t look at Steven. “Sometimes I wonder if Rose can see me through your eyes.”

“Pearl… I’m not mom. But I think you’re pretty great.” Steven sat behind Pearl, wrapping his arms around Pearl’s slender body. “I don’t understand half the stuff you guys talk about. But I want to know. I want to understand.”

“Steven, you’re too young-”

“I’m not, Pearl.” Steven looked up at her. “I’m not.”

“There are some truths that we cannot tell you.” Jasper said softly, moving to sit on the other side of the boy, Pearl looking over his head at her. Jasper reached out her arm, wrapping it around both Steven and Pearl, drawing them close. “But Pearl has some stories about your mother that I’m sure you’d like to hear. Now that you’re old enough.”

Pearl stared at Jasper quietly before she stroked her fingers over Jasper’s wrist, wrapping her other arm around Steven’s shoulders as well. “I… I suppose it would be better to show you.” Her gem glowed and a hologram of Rose projected before them, Jasper setting her jaw as she gave both Pearl and Steven a brief squeeze.

* * *

“Jasper! Lapis!”

“No, Steven, you need to leave, I can’t control her!” Lapis screamed, the water chains gripping her wrists tightly. 

“Steven.” Jasper choked as she clawed her way out of the water, staring at the boy. “Steven, no.”

“Jasper, Lapis, _please_ , you both have to let go!” Steven had tears brimming in his eyes. “I know you’re both angry, I know you don’t want this, so why don’t you let go? You can let go, you can leave!” 

“No!” Jasper growled. “I kept her in that mirror, I had to keep her contained!”

“She’s a monster, Steven!” Lapis snarled. “She’s not who you think she is!”

“She wants to kill the Crystal Gems for what they did to her, she only wants revenge!”

“She _used_ me!”

Jasper felt her heart pang as she stared at Steven’s tearstained face, her hands gripping at the chains. “I did what I had to!” Jasper snarled. “I followed orders!”

“You trapped me in that mirror!”

“I did as I was told, like a good soldier!” Jasper sobbed, saltwater stinging her throat and lungs, her arms shaking with exhaustion from the endless fight, months of fighting.

“You and I deserve this then.” Lapis hissed. “We deserve to be Malachite.”  
“Jasper!” Steven’s voice rang out and Jasper stared at him before she closed her eyes and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Steven, giving him a tight hug. “Jasper, please come home, please!”

“I can’t.” She whispered, staring down at him, letting Lapis’ water chains drag her back to the water. “We’re Malachite now.”

— 

Jasper sipped at the chai that Priyanka had poured her, the woman’s hands shaking as she stared off into the middle distance. Jasper was sore. The fusion experiment that had done a number on her, and Jasper’s face ached from where the enormous fists had slammed into her helmet’s visor. Her neck was hurting and she probably needed to sleep, but the exhaustion and adrenaline of fear had driven Jasper well beyond her normal limits. She could only imagine how Dr. Maheswaran was feeling, her first true encounter with a Gem and it had been with those horrible bastardized beings, with her daughter placed directly in danger. The woman’s hand shook as she lifted the teapot to pour more, and Jasper took it from her grip, pouring both of them another cup, Priyanka frozen in place watching the cup fill again.

“So… You’re… Warriors.”

“So is your daughter.” Jasper’s fingers were too big for the dainty handle of the teacup, so she cupped it in her palm, lifting it to her lips as she watched the doctor. She wasn’t a fan of eating, but drinking was something that she could handle. When Priyanka offered a plate of ginger flavored cookies Jasper raised her hand to politely decline. “Dr. Maheswaran, you are a strong woman. Connie admires you greatly.” Jasper looked at the other woman, watching the way Priyanka’s finger rubbed at the edge of the teacup. “This cannot be a surprise to you.”

“But it _is_!” Priyanka looked up at Jasper. “I don’t know anything about magic! I didn’t know that my daughter was going off into the front lines of some great gem conflict!”

Jasper hummed, sipping at the tea. “Dr. Maheswaran-”

“Priyanka.” The woman corrected, looking up at Jasper.

“Priyanka.” Jasper echoed. “Connie is confident in her decision. She needs your support, not your approval.”

“She should have asked my permission.”

“Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.” Jasper looked at the woman, placing her tea cup down and staring at her. “Your daughter is part of this now. Through her own making and decisions, Connie has chosen a side.”

“But is it the _right_ choice?” Priyanka asked, looking at Jasper. 

Jasper was quiet for a long moment before she sighed, looking at the other woman. “I don’t know. We could all be wrong. We could be fighting for a planet with a destiny for destruction.” Jasper tilted the cup, watching a clustering of tea leaves at the bottom of the cup swirl in the remaining dregs. “I hope that we are not, but we could be wrong just the same.” She looked at Priyanka. “But you have to trust us, and you have to trust that you have raised your daughter to be an intelligent, informed woman who is capable of making her own decisions on what is right and wrong.”

* * *

“I can’t do it.” Peridot huffed in embarrassment, sitting on the bale of hay, kicking her feet back and forth. “I can’t fuse.”

“It’s fine.” Jasper said, leaning back, her legs spread wide, allowing her to stretch her sore muscles from the long day of work.

“Garnet must be so insulted.” Peridot drooped a bit more, her face flushed slightly.

“She’s not.”

“How do you know?” Peridot grumbled, giving Jasper a scowling glare. 

“I just know. I’ve known her for a long time.”

“How… How does it even make you feel? Knowing a perma-fusion?” Peridot still had that insulted little lilt when she said the word fusion, as if it was a scandalous thing.

“I used to be like you about it. I considered Garnet a shameless display, even when Rose Quartz accepted her into our close inner circle.” Jasper crossed her arms, running her finger on the sharp edge of her gem where the bridge of her nose would be. “I still sometimes… Feel a bit awkward being around Garnet alone. Like an interloper.”

“But you’ve known her for centuries!”

Jasper shrugged, looking down at Peridot. “So? You can always learn more about people. They can always surprise you in one way or another.” Jasper smiled at Peridot. “Look. You might fuse one day. You might never fuse. That doesn’t make you less of a gem. Just like it doesn’t make me any less of one.”

“But… You’re a Quartz, you don’t need fusion to be stronger!”

“Fusion isn’t about just strength,” Jasper said. “For most of the Crystal Gems, even before we were destroyed, it was just about love.”

Peridot scoffed before she scowled and looked down, clenching her fists. “Still… I think I’d like to try it. If just to feel strong, like you.”

Jasper stiffened before she gave a soft laugh. “No, Peridot.” She rested a broad palm on the smaller Gem’s head, tilting her chin so that Peridot could meet her golden eyes. “You don’t. Not for those reasons.”

Peridot was silent, staring up at Jasper. “You and Lapis weren’t happy as Malachite, weren’t you?”

“No. It hurt both of us.” Jasper nodded. 

“And you… You stayed?”

“Because we thought we had no other choice.” Jasper released Peridot, looking down. “I had hurt her, centuries ago, and now… I don’t think that Lapis and I will ever be able to reconcile, but we aren’t enemies now.”

“Will you ever fuse again?”

Jasper looked up, watching Pearl chatting with Garnet, before she sighed and looked away. “For the right Gem. But, I won’t be fusing with you. You aren’t the right Gem for me.”

Peridot paused, looking away. “Maybe there is no right Gem for me either.”

“It doesn’t matter if you do or don’t fuse. You’re still a Gem.”

* * *

Jasper sighed as Pearl and Greg returned, laughing in the front seat of Greg’s van, Steven scrambling out the back excitedly. “Garnet, Amethyst, Jasper!” Steven called out, running across the sandy beach. Jasper chuckled as Steven launched himself at her, catching the boy and throwing him into the air before catching him. “Empire City was so great! It was awesome and we had so much fun!”

“Oh really?” Garnet asked with a smile. “What made it so great?”

Jasper tuned out after a few moments of Steven talking about all the frivolous things they did with Greg’s newly gotten gains. She hated that the song had been sold as a burger jingle. Mostly because it had been stuck in her head for the last two days and Amethyst had taken to randomly singing it at the top of her lungs. What she couldn’t find room to complain about was the money itself. Wealth had not changed Greg at all, and Jasper was glad of it. Gems did not have a concept of money, only status granted by their type of gem, and Steven’s lessons from Greg were just as valuable as the ones that the gems could impart on him.

It would be a shame if Greg’s proclamations of money not being everything were mere hypocrisy.

“Jasper!” Pearl raced over, and before Jasper could stop her the smaller gem had thrown herself into Jasper’s arms, smiling up at her. “I have… I’d like to talk to you. Privately.”

Jasper glanced at Steven and Greg, who were talking to Garnet and Amethyst, before she nodded, gently leading Pearl out the front door towards the beach. It was dark now, their trip from Empire City had taken the better part of the day, but the sound of the ocean lapping upon the shore still roared loudly as the two of them wandered along the moonlit sand.

“So… Empire City.”

“It reminded me of Homeworld.” Pearl said after a moment of silence, not looking at Jasper. They were close enough that their hands barely brushed, but neither of them reached out for one another. “Do you… Do you remember when we first met?”

“I could hardly forget.”

“And how we became friends?”

“Sharing Pink’s secret, we were the only ones that could confide in one another.”

“It was a stressful time. Every time we visited Homeworld I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like we were going to be found out at any moment.” Jasper tore her eyes from the ocean, looking at Pearl as the smaller gem stared into the sky, searching for Homeworld’s galaxy. “But I always felt safe with you. I knew that you’d never let harm come to Pink, or to me.”

“How could I?” Jasper whispered quietly. “I… I lived to serve Pink Diamond. And you were hers.”

Pearl was quiet as they stood still, their eyes fixed in opposite directions, Pearl to the vastness of the cosmos, and Jasper to the depths of the ocean. “Was that just it? Back then?”

“… No.” Jasper whispered, refusing to look at Pearl. “You know it wasn’t. It never was just about Pink. How could I betray her? I was made for her. But you…” Jasper’s fingers reached out, stroking over Pearl’s cheek, her jaw, staring at her gem quietly. “You were everything. If someone told me that you had hung every star perfectly in the sky, that you were more radiant than the Diamonds, that the earth lived and breathed only for your whim… I would have believed them, I was so in love with you.”

“And now?” Pearl asked, staring up at her. “I… It took me so long to realize, to even think that… That I could live without Rose. That I was anything without her. I thought she’d set me free, but the truth is that I never stopped trailing after her, even when she made it clear that I wasn’t who she loved like that…” Pearl’s eyes brimmed with tears and she stroked her fingers over Jasper’s arms, her shoulders. “I thought about Greg. And all those other humans that she fell in love with over and over. How it broke my heart every time.” Jasper’s breath caught and she stared down at Pearl, those dainty fingers resting on her cheeks, framing her broad face and drawing her down. “Then I thought of you. You were always there for me, you always let me cry on your shoulder, you always looked at me like I was… Like I was more than just a Pearl.”

“Pearl-”

“Jasper, I love you. And I’m so sorry I made you wait so long.” Pearl choked softly on the words, drawing Jasper close. “I love you.”

Jasper rested her gem against Pearl’s, letting out a soft, shuddering breath as she clung to the smaller gem. “I love you too, Pearl. I always have.”

* * *

“You can’t go there!” Garnet snapped, and Pearl looked guilty as Steven and Connie stared at them. 

The resulting argument made Jasper stare quietly, her arms crossed as she looked at Garnet and Pearl’s fury and Steven’s frustration. When Steven stormed off, Jasper sighed, looking at Garnet and pearl, frowning as she watched them.

“You’re not in the right on this one.” Jasper said simply, following Steven, leaving Garnet and Pearl behind to handle Connie and Amethyst’s questions and prying.

“Dad, you have to take me here!” Steven’s voice carried very easily and Jasper followed down to Greg’s van, staring at Steven and Greg poring over the book together.

“Steven.” Jasper said firmly, staring at him.

“Jasper.” Steven stared up at her, and the defiance in his gaze made Jasper think of Rose, of Pink Diamond. “Don’t try and stop me, Jasper, I deserve to know this. I deserve to know about her past, my past.”

Jasper’s shoulders slumped slightly and she nodded. “You do, Steven. And I’m going to go with you. You need to be protected.” Jasper knelt down, her hulking form bending over Steven. “You deserve to know, but we cannot lose you.”

The journey was bumpy, Andy was a good pilot but even he couldn’t handle rough winds in primitive tech such as his plane. Jasper hadn’t ever done well with flight, and this only made the motion sickness worse. Greg’s insistence at playing tourist gave Jasper time to get over the sickness, but it didn’t stop the looming sense of dread settling in her stomach.

The sight of the fence surrounding the Palanquin brought that sense roaring to life within her chest, crushing her lungs and churning her stomach. When her eyes started to brim and overflow with tears, matching the stains on Steven’s own face, Jasper froze, staring at the boy. “Steven… Steven, wait!” She whispered, ducking down behind some bushes, pulling Steven and Greg close. Crawling forward on her stomach, Jasper peered through the bushes until she saw the looming hooded figure. “Steven, it’s Blue Diamond.” She whispered, staring at the Diamond. 

“Wow…” Steven said, slightly too loud, and Jasper latched her hand over his mouth. “Jasper, who is she?”

“Blue Diamond.” Jasper whispered. “Don’t say anything, she can’t find you.”

Greg looked over at the two and Jasper’s eyes widened as he spoke, “Don’t worry, I got this, time to turn on the ol’ Universe Charm!”

“Greg!” Jasper hissed, reaching out to grab at Greg’s shirt, only for him to move too quickly, startling Blue Diamond’s Pearl. “Greg!” She pulled Steven to her chest, clinging to him tightly even as he thrashed, the two of them watching as Greg and the Blue Diamond spoke, talking about loss and mourning as if they were the same species, the same level of anything.

When Greg was grabbed, Jasper gripped Steven even tighter, feeling his ribs groan as he began to thrash and shriek into her palm, escaping when Blue Diamond entered her Palanquin and was lifted into her ship. Jasper felt tears streaming down her face as she released Steven, breathing deeply and letting the boy race over and scream for his father, leaping into the air, throwing himself after Blue Diamond’s ship.

“Steven!” Jasper shouted, scrambling to her feet. She felt a rush of air ruffling her hair, pushing past her and couldn’t help but be relieved at the sight of Garnet reaching to intercept Steven’s falling body.

* * *

“You always bring out the worst in them, don’t you, Pink? Just look at them. Insecure. Dependent. Obsessed. Delusional.”

“No, no, guys! Snap out of it!”

“Please stop helping them, you’ll only make things worse, that’s what you do.”

Jasper’s face was stretched into a wide grin, her broad teeth grinding silently together as she tried to scream, tried to move. She could fight this. She was strong. Stronger than any of her friends. She was made to protect her Diamond, to protect Steven. And there was Steven, screaming at White Diamond, defiant to even the bitter end. 

“I make things better, watch!” White Diamond waved her hand and Jasper felt herself rising, just like a marionette on strings, pulled by the sheer force of White Diamond’s will. “There. Now the impurities you have encouraged in them are gone!”

Jasper knew she would die here. This was where she was meant to die. Standing before White Diamond. But in every nightmare she had had about this moment, she had been screaming out her defiance, had fought until every muscle in her body, every bone running through her fingers, were just as broken and shattered as her gem. She was meant to die a warrior’s death, protecting Steven just as she had promised Pink Diamond that she would.

It was not supposed to end this way. She was not meant to stare, to watch White Diamond reach down with her enormous hands, to pluck Steven’s gem from his body, to send him falling to the ground in a broken, crying heap. No torture could compare to this, to an unutterable truth that she had failed. She had failed her Diamond. The Crystal Gems. Steven. She had always been the one to protect them. Yet here, in White Diamond’s commanding, overwhelming glow, she was nothing. She was a failure. 

White Diamond was right. She was delusional to believe that she could matter. That she could alter the course of fate. That she could save her friends, her leader.  
After all. She couldn’t even save herself.

* * *

Jasper stared at Pearl, singing with the Steven Greg fusion on stage, her eyes wide as she froze and listened to the rock ballad they sang. There was something that had been scratching at her mind, clawing behind her skull like a prisoner trying to break free. There was something _wrong_ about all of this. About her. Her Diamond was fused with a _human_. Why was that significant? Why did that make something warm in her press to the surface, when it should have been disgust.

This was an abomination, this was disgusting. Her Diamond should not have 

“What do I want to be? I’m the master of me!” Pearl grinned widely, twirling in her dress. “And isn’t the thought of that enough to lift me off of the ground!”

Steg grinned at her, singing out, “We could be independent together! Independent together we can fly!” Jasper approached the stage, climbing onto it, around the sound equipment, stumbling for a moment before Pearl’s hands grasped hers, drawing her close, dancing with her. 

“Independent together!” Pearl sang.

“Independent together,” Jasper echoed, her voice more gruff, but carrying the tine. “Independent together you and I.” She grasped hold of Pearl’s hands, twirling her in her arms, dancing together as her voice found confidence. “High above an… Endless sea.” Her fingers gripped Pearl’s hands tighter. “No one brought us… Here but me.” She tried to find the words, staring at Pearl, pulling her closer. “Every step and every choice…” She stared at Pearl, choking out the song. “It’s my fault, it’s my thoughts, it’s my words, it’s my voice.”

The warmth of fusion pulsed through them, Jasper feeling herself drawn into Pearl.

Malachite had been cold, had burned like ice left on her hands too long.

This fusion was warmth, it was heat and passion and love that stung her eyes like the light in the Beta Kindergarten’s canyon. 

They were perfect together, how had it taken them so long to become this? To fuse like this?

Tiger’s Eye opened her eyes, Pearl’s bass in her grip, and began playing, grinning at the screaming audience. “Independent together.” She sang, smiling brightly as she focused on herself, on the feeling of being together. “Independent together if we try.” She knew, in the back of her mind, that Steven and Greg were singing with her as well, but she was lost in her own mind. “Independent together. Independent together! Independent together, you and I!”

The song ended too soon, far too soon, and after a few moments their fusion wavered and they parted, twirling together until Jasper dipped Pearl, their forms separated, staring at one another breathlessly. “Independent together…” Pearl whispered softly.

“You and I.” Jasper finished, leaning in to kiss Pearl - _her_ Pearl.


	4. Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jasper?”
> 
> “Yes, Steven?”
> 
> “Were you… Were you neverous?”
> 
> “About what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added in this chapter mostly due to the request of a friend who wanted to see another chapter of these two!

“Jasper!” Pink Diamond’s Pearl tittered, staring up at the Quartz with wide blue eyes. “O-oh, you’re here so late! Pink Diamond is indisposed.”

“I have news about these new Crystal Gems that have been causing trouble down on Earth, I need to speak to Pink Diamond.” Jasper tried to brush her way past Pearl, the news that her Diamond was in danger still fresh in her mind. 

“Jasper!” Pearl grabbed at the larger gem’s arm, pulling at her to make her stop. Jasper froze, turning to stare down at the Pearl, the two of them frozen in place. “I-I-I want to tell you that I have… I have always admired you.” A dainty hand pressed to Jasper’s arm, over her shoulder, resting over her chest. “You are… You are so strong and devoted to Pink Diamond, to Homeworld. You have the weight of this entire planet on your shoulders.” Those big, perfect blue eyes stared up at her and Jasper felt her jaw go slightly slack as she stared down at Pearl. “I… I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how greatly I appreciate you and what you do for our Diamond.” Jasper froze as she stared down at Pearl, her entire body feeling like electricity was coursing through it, radiating from where Pearl’s delicate little fingers brushed over her chest, her collarbone. “There’s… There’s a local custom that the native populace of this planet use to show appreciation.”

Jasper’s throat was dry as she stared at Pearl, whispering, “And that is?”

Pearl didn’t bother answering with words, tilting her head until her long, pointed nose brushed past Jasper’s pressing to the larger gem’s cheek, their lips lining up in a strange touch that made Jasper’s hands grip at Pearl’s wrists in surprise. She didn’t move away, letting Pearl continue the strange touch, her tongue brushing over Jasper’s fuller lips, slipping into her mouth. 

When they parted, Jasper gasped, staring down at Pearl in confusion. “What was that?”

“A kiss.” Pearl whispered, staring up at Jasper. “It’s called a kiss.”

Jasper nodded, staring down at Pearl before she cleared her throat. “What else do the organics do? Like that?”

Pearl’s face flushed and she glanced at the palanquin, clearing her throat before she led Jasper through filmy curtains. Pink Diamond was nowhere in sight, and Jasper looked around in confusion. Before she could ask, Pearl gave a weak smile, “I told you that Pink Diamond was indisposed, she won’t be back for several hours still.”

There was something forbidden about that knowledge. She expected Pearl to lead her to where Pearl herself rested when she felt the need, but instead she was brought to the large, cushioned slab where Pink Diamond was often found resting and lounging, observing her colony. Jasper had been informed that the construct was a bed, and that Pink Diamond had found out about it from another planet’s strange traditions. Jasper froze when Pearl perched herself on the edge of the lounge, on _Pink Diamond’s _lounge. She was so small in comparison to the lounge, to their Diamond, and Jasper froze as she watched Pearl arrange herself on the bed, awkwardly looking at Jasper before she stretched out one long, delicate leg, perching her chin on her hand as she stared up at Jasper.__

__“Is this another strange organic tradition?” Jasper asked, scowling at Pearl awkwardly, attempting to regain some semblance of self control. She should not be here. She never should have followed Pearl here. This was a temptation that she was not strong enough to resist and she didn’t know what might happen if they continued._ _

__“O-oh, the, um…” Pearl flushed, biting her lower lip as she looked at Jasper. “I heard the Agates call it seduction. It’s… It’s considered indecent, but apparently is thrilling enough that the Agates gossip about it frequently.”_ _

__“Oh?” Jasper cleared her throat, staring at Pearl. “Are you in the habit of eavesdropping regularly?” She stroked her fingers over the silky edge of Pearl’s skirt, fixing her gaze on the fabric for fear of revealing something telling in her own gaze._ _

__“No one notices a Pearl, they tell whatever they want without realizing that I’m listening.”_ _

__“I notice you,” Jasper snapped quickly, her fingers bunching the fabric in her grip. She froze as she realized that the thought had been spoken aloud, releasing her grip on Pearl’s clothing._ _

__“I know.” Pearl whispered back, as if the words might shatter something between them if spoken too loudly._ _

__Jasper leaned close, tilting her head, her lips barely brushing Pearl’s before she heard footsteps approaching and jerked back, standing from where she had knelt beside the lounge, Pearl not moving from her spot._ _

__“Oh! Jasper,” Pink Diamond looked down at her, raising a brow curiously. “Is there something you needed to tell me?”_ _

__Jasper cleared her throat. “The rebel group of the Crystal Gems has declared a leader. A Rose Quartz who bears a sword. One of our Bismuth builders has also joined the Crystal Gems and has fashioned this Quartz a sword capable of destroying a gem’s physical form.”_ _

__“Ah, excellent, Jasper,” Pink Diamond smiled. “I will decide what to do with this new information.” Pink Diamond’s eyes drifted to her Pearl and a new gleam came to her eye at the sight of Pearl posed on the lounge, frozen in place. “Dismissed, Jasper.”_ _

__Jasper saluted her Diamond and bowed her head, turning to leave. She glanced over her shoulder and froze for a moment at the sight of Pink Diamond’s gloved hand tilting Pearl’s chin up so that their eyes met. In a moment of weakness, Jasper looked away and strode off, trying not to think of the organic tradition of a kiss and that Pearl probably did such things with Pink Diamond._ _

__She shouldn’t have felt as hurt and betrayed as she did. After all. She was a Jasper, there were thousands of soldiers just like her. Why have a Jasper when she could have a Diamond?_ _

* * *

__“What can I do for you? What can I do that no one else can do?” Jasper hummed to herself as she walked back from where she had been laying out Greg’s bright pink light boards on the beach. He wanted to fuse with Rose? He needed all the help he could get to set up for that task._ _

__“I hate that song.” Pearl snapped, making Jasper turn and raise a brow at her as she climbed up the steps to the temple. “It’s not even that good.”_ _

__Jasper rolled her eyes at Pearl. “Just because it’s not about you.”_ _

__“That’s not true!”_ _

__“Ha.” Jasper climbed the last few steps to the warp pad where Pearl was perched, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “Liar.” She leaned closer, staring at Pearl. “You’re just jealous that Rose isn’t paying attention to you anymore.”_ _

__“I am not!” Pearl stomped her foot on the warp pad, glaring at Jasper. “I just think that song is - is - subpar!”_ _

__Jasper smirked down at Pearl, wrapping her hand around a delicate wrist. “What can I do for you? What can I do that no one else can do? What can I do for you? What can I do for you?” Jasper purred, twirling Pearl and gently dipping her towards the warp pad. “Perfect Pearl, you are so bright and sweet. I hadn’t planned to fall quite so suddenly.” A twirl and Pearl was pulled close to Jasper’s chest, her back fitted to Jasper’s broad torso as a broad hand gripped at Pearl’s waist, sliding slowly down her hip to her thigh. “I like your dance, and I like your songs. You know the way… Human beings play… We should play along.” Jasper drew Pearl closer, whispering the song into her jaw, feeling Pearl relax into her embrace, the two of them dancing upon the warp pad._ _

__“Oh, Rose.” Pearl whispered, and Jasper froze, stiffening until she released Pearl, pulling back sharply enough that the smaller gem stumbled, turning quickly to stare up at Jasper. “Jasper.” The two of them stared at one another, Jasper’s face set in a scowl. “Jasper, I didn’t… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”_ _

__“Dance with me?” Jasper stepped back, avoiding Pearl’s outstretched hand. “Of course not. Why would you? I’ve always been second best. Something to settle on when Rose isn’t paying attention to you.”_ _

__“Jasper, that’s not true! I’m just… I’m very confused! About Rose and about you and about how I feel!”_ _

__“Save it.” Jasper growled, nudging Pearl off the warp and glaring at her. “Greg’s going to try fusing with Rose soon. Don’t gloat too much when he fails, it is unbecoming of you.”_ _

__The warp activated and Jasper sighed as she arrive on the moonlit sand outside the Beta Kindergarten. It didn’t take much for her to storm to her hole, climbing inside and crossing her arms as she settled in._ _

__She didn’t know what she had expected, why she cared so much. She’d always be second best to Rose, she’d always be Pearl’s lesser option. She was a fool to think otherwise._ _

* * *

__Jasper stared up at the sky, breathing deeply, feeling the absence of water in her lungs, the absence of Lapis Lazuli._ _

__Sound was muffled but as the sunlight stopped being so blinding she could see Pearl leaning over her, shaking her broad shoulders._ _

__“-per! Jasper!” The muffled voice was so familiar and Jasper couldn’t help but be relieved as Pearl stroked her face. “Are you okay? Jasper, please, say something, anything!”_ _

__Jasper opened her mouth, wheezing softly. “Pearl.”_ _

__“Yes, yes, Jasper, it’s me, it’s Pearl.” Pearl had tears brimming in her eyes, clinging to Jasper as she leaned down. “Oh, stars, I was so scared, Jasper, I thought we’d never see you again! Steven said you were Malachite, that you were gone, and I was so _worried _about you.”___ _

___Jasper wheezed a laugh, clinging to Pearl tightly. “Miss me?”_ _ _

___“Of course I missed you!” Pearl whispered into Jasper’s hair, clinging to her tightly. “I thought… I thought I’d lost you too. Just like Rose.”_ _ _

___Jasper held Pearl tightly, rolling onto her side so that her bulk shadowed both of them, gripping Pearl’s face and resting her forehead against Pearl’s gem, breathing deeply and staring at the smaller gem. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Jasper whispered, clinging to Pearl before she leaned in and stole a long, slow kiss from Pearl. Dainty fingers tangled in Jasper’s hair, drawing her closer._ _ _

___“Pearl.” Jasper whispered. “I-”_ _ _

___“Shh, don’t say anything.” Pearl whispered back, covering Jasper’s mouth with her palm._ _ _

___Jasper gripped Pearl’s wrist, pulling the hand back and spoke, “I’m sorry.” She choked out, staring at Pearl._ _ _

___“What?” Pearl asked softly. “Why would you be sorry? You saved us from the Agate, you sacrificed yourself for us.”_ _ _

___Jasper felt tears brimming in her eye, shivering before she pressed her lips to Pearl’s again. “Just… Please, let’s not tell the others yet.” She whispered, her fingers clutching at Pearl’s back. “Give me… Give me a minute.” She pressed her face to Pearl’s neck, clinging to her tightly. She hated this feeling, this feeling of being weak, the fact that she _missed _Lapis - Malachite - and felt the jarring loss of the fusion in her very being. Laying on the beach, the water lapping over their bodies, Pearl curled close against her, Jasper let her tears mingle with the salt water, staring at the stars, trying to pick out Homeworld’s galaxy through the haze of her tears.___ _ _

_____The roar of the ocean drowned out all of her thoughts._ _ _ _ _

_____It wasn’t until Garnet, Amethyst and Steven came running out of the house to the shore, until Pearl’s hands gripped her face, that Jasper realized she had been screaming._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____“That Holly Blue Agate had some nerve!” Pearl snapped, scowling as she stormed around Steven’s home, folding laundry, putting away groceries, anything she could do to find some sense of normalcy after the trip to Pink Diamond’s human zoo. Garnet and Amethyst were recovering in the temple, resting up after the adventure, and Steven was nervously spending the night with Greg, unable to leave his father alone for more than a few minutes after already losing him once. “I’m surprised she didn’t recognize you.” Pearl scowled. “She surely wouldn’t flirt with a war traitor if that was the case.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“She did.” Jasper said from where she leaned against the kitchen counter. “Recognize me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Wh-what?” Pearl’s eyes widened and she scowled. “How could she recognize you?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“We met when I was still part of Pink Diamond’s entourage. She didn’t recognize you because you’re a Pearl, but she and I had… A few brief encounters, back when Blue Diamond came to visit Earth to meet with Pink Diamond.” Jasper could see the seething fury inside Pearl building up. “It worked to your advantage, honestly. She couldn’t fathom you being any form of seditious or rebellious, not when she was focused on how unruly Amethysts and Jaspers were.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“What did you two do back then?” Pearl asked, her arms crossed over her chest._ _ _ _ _

_____Jasper blinked before she smirked at the other Gem. “Jealous, Pearl?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I just never knew you were… Involved in that way.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jasper asked, raising a brow. “You were so wrapped up in Pink Diamond, then Rose later on. When you gave me the time of day, it was always when she was involved with a new human lover.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“That’s-” Pearl stomped her foot. “Besides the point! You could have been found out! Let everything slip! And our current mission relied on Holly Blue Agate not knowing who we were, and she recognized-”_ _ _ _ _

_____“She was _distracted _by me.” Jasper scowled at Pearl. “She was so wrapped up in having the Diamonds attention, Sapphire’s visit, and me being there she wouldn’t bother paying attention to you, Ruby and Steven.” Jasper leaned closer, smirking as she stood in the Yellow Diamond uniform still, not bothering to change it just yet. “Besides. I was always very good at distracting Holly Blue Agate back then too, she didn’t notice many things because I could draw her focus away.” A subtle flex to make her muscles more defined, and Jasper watched Pearl’s eyes flick down to her arms, the smaller gem swallowing tightly as she frowned. “So. As I asked before: Jealous?”___ _ _ _ _

_______Pearl grabbed at Jasper’s jaw, yanking the larger gem close for a kiss, Jasper’s broad palms grabbing at her narrow hips, jerking her close. “Shut up.” Pearl growled, biting at Jasper’s full lower lip, hard enough that Jasper couldn’t help but grunt and yank Pearl closer, lifting her with a single hand until Pearl was perched on the edge of the counter. Her fingers clawed at Jasper’s shoulders, tearing at the uniform, pulling at Jasper’s hair, kissing at her jaw and neck and baring her teeth against Jasper’s skin. “Shut up you big, stupid-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Quartz?” Jasper grinned, biting at Pearl’s own jaw, pinning Pearl easily, her fingers leaving thick bruises on Pearl’s form. “You’re just jealous because at one point you weren’t the only one who caught my eye?” Jasper snarled, biting at Pearl’s lower lip. “Hypocrite.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I’m not-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“You want it both ways, don’t you?” Jasper growled, pulling at Pearl’s hair roughly, making those blue blue eyes meet her own bright yellow. “Does it feed your ego to know that I’ve been infatuated with you? That you caught the eye of a Diamond and a Quartz?” Jasper scowled down at Pearl, gripping her jaw tightly before she sighed and released Pearl, jerking away. “You should be smug.” Jasper shrugged her shoulders and her clothing changed to her usual Crystal Gem jumpsuit. “Holly Blue Agate and I never… Kissed. Never fused. Nothing like that. It was a harmless flirtation that never went anywhere.” Pearl’s eyes were wide and Jasper made a face, stepping away from the counter and moved towards the temple. “So you’re right. It was always you. You never had to worry about me straying, not with Holly Blue Agate, not with Lapis, not when I couldn’t have you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_______Jasper stroked her fingers through Pearl’s hair, breathing in the taste of Pearl’s gasps as they pressed close. The adrenaline of Spinel nearly destroying the world had yet to wear off from the two Gems, stoking the fires of something long repressed inside them. The rush of their fusion from earlier left them both practically vibrating with a deep seated need, kissing and touching, yanking at one another’s hair, biting at their lips, panting hungrily against one another. The moonlight pouring into the Beta Kindergarten illuminated Jasper’s long white hair and Pearl’s pale skin, catching their gems and making the two press closer, Pearl perched in Jasper’s lap as they sat at the entrance of Jasper’s exit hole._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I can’t believe it took us so long to do that.” Pearl whispered, clinging to Jasper, the pure glass of the walls of the hole echoing their voices in a surreal way. “Tiger’s Eye was… God, she was perfect. I felt perfect. _You _were perfect.” Jasper growled, unable to form words as she tore into Pearl’s clothing, tossing her jacket aside and fumbling with the fastenings of Pearl’s pants. “God, why didn’t we do this before? Why don’t we stay as Tiger’s Eye?” Pearl pulled back, staring at Jasper, panting and grinning as Jasper froze, staring down at her as well. “We could stay that way. We were perfect as her. Better than anything. Better than Sardonyx, better than Rainbow Quartz!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Jasper stroked her hands over Pearl’s waist, staring down at her, kissing her deeply. “Pearl, I… I want to fuse with you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Let’s do it now-” Pearl leaned up, kissing Jasper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No, not… Not until you listen to me.” Jasper gripped Pearl’s shoulder’s firmly, unable to resist kissing her gently, holding Pearl close. “Pearl, I love you. I adore you.” She kissed Pearl slowly, calming the smaller gem. “But I don’t want to be a perma-fusion. Not now. Maybe never.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Pearl looked up at Jasper, eyes wide as she stared at her. “Do… You liked it, right? It wasn’t like Malachite.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Oh, Pearl,” Jasper kissed her again, pulling Pearl closer, tucking her face against Pearl’s jaw. “Tiger’s Eye and Malachite are so far apart that there’s no comparison.” Jasper felt Pearl’s fingers plucking at the edge of her tank top, sneaking up to press against Jasper’s abdomen, leeching warmth from her skin. “But… We’ve just begun this. It’s taken us millennia to get here, to this point.” Jasper stroked over Pearl’s jaw, kissing her neck slowly. “So let’s wait a few more millennia before we decide on that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Pearl shivered before she smiled and kissed Jasper, drawing her closer, whispering softly, “Okay, okay.” Her lips brushed over Jasper’s lower lip, capturing her mouth in another deep kiss. “We’ll wait for that… We’ll see.” Pale, slender fingers brushed over Jasper’s stomach, tugging the fabric of her tank top off, tossing it aside once she had exposed Jasper’s torso. “But for now I… There’s another thing that humans do that I want to try.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Jasper flushed, grinning down at Pearl, stroking her fingers over the smaller gem’s torso before she gripped the seams of Pearl’s shirt and pulled, tearing the garment away easily. Pearl grinned down at her, grabbing at Jasper’s hair and gasping when the larger gem kissed over her neck and shoulder, her palms stroking over Pearl’s pert breasts as Pearl’s own fingers pressed to Jasper’s chest, trying to get her to lay down along the glass surface of the hole. It didn’t take much more coaxing for Jasper to lay back, Pearl’s long, slender legs straddling Jasper’s thick torso._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Pearl.” Jasper growled, kissing over Pearl’s chest, stroking over smooth skin and form, her fingers finding the soft crevice between Pearl’s thighs. Humans had an entrance here, Jasper knew from some rather strange internet searches, unlike gems who were smooth all the way through. “Change this. I want to try something humans do.” Pearl flushed, but obeyed, yelping when Jasper gripped her hips and pulled her up. “Looks like you and I are watching the same dirty movies.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Don’t tease!” Pearl huffed, watching as Jasper adjusted her so that Pearl was straddling her face, Pearl’s legs twitching to frame Jasper’s head, her knees nestled among a sea of white hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I’m not teasing.” Jasper growled, leaning up to give a slow lick to Pearl’s soft skin. Pearl yelped and jumped at the feeling, pouting down at Jasper. “See, no teasing here.” Jasper grinned, nuzzling her full lips against the warm crevice, exploring and touching as Pearl shivered and bit her lower lip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“That feels… Strange.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Bad?” Jasper asked, grunting as Pearl’s thighs twitched against her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No. Just strange.” Pearl murmured, shivering as she thrust her hips against Jasper’s mouth. The larger gem smirked at that, stroking over Pearl’s thighs and back before guiding her deeper into the hole, rolling over until Pearl’s back rested on the smooth glass, Jasper looming over her. “Why did you stop?” Pearl whined, staring up at Jasper as she shivered and twitched with tension and desire._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I want to try something else.” Jasper growled, pulling Pearl’s legs around her waist, drawing her close and sinking one thick finger into Pearl’s new slit. Pearl gasped, shaking at the sudden stretch. “How does that feel?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Strange,” Pearl laughed, grasping at Jasper’s shoulders, feeling the muscle ripple as Jasper moved, her lips brushing over the soft curve of Pearl’s neck as another finger pressed into her, making Pearl moan out desperately. “But good. It feels really good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Jasper purred, leaning in and biting at Pearl’s jaw until the smaller gem melted beneath her, her thighs twitching as Jasper’s fingers curled and thrust inside her. “Humans are so obsessed with just this.” Jasper grinned, curling her fingers inside Pearl, making the smaller gem whine loudly as she shuddered and rocked her hips against Jasper’s hand. “Such a small part of the body, and yet it absolutely has made humans slave to it.” Jasper rubbed her thumb against the soft folds of flesh either side of Pearl’s entrance, leaning in to stare and watch as her fingers moved in and out of the tight grasp of Pearl’s body. “I can see the appeal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Pearl gasped, gripping Jasper’s wrist and whining as the fingers moved faster, harder, Jasper purring at the sensation of Pearl’s walls clenched around her fingers. Pearl whined and sobbed as the pleasure crawled up her stomach, through her entire body until she slumped, her breath fogging the glass floor of the hole. Her thighs twitched as Jasper’s fingers pulled back, Pearl’s eyes flicking down to fix on the sight of Jasper’s own eyes, her slitted pupils blown wide and round._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Jasper kissed Pearl’s gem, leaning in and gently stroking over her face. Pearl opened her mouth, kissing the fingertips that had been used inside her. “It’s not the same as humans in those videos.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No, humans are wetter.” Jasper grinned, kissing Pearl deeply, letting her tongue trace inside Pearl’s mouth. “Messier.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Pearl shivered, staring at Jasper’s fingers before she bit her lower lip, guiding the digits down between her thighs again. Jasper grinned at the slick mess leaking out of Pearl, her fingers drawing circles and patterns between her folds before Jasper leaned down, pulling Pearl’s legs over her shoulders so that she could lick carefully at the wet slick leaking out of Pearl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Jasper!” Pearl gasped, shivering as Jasper gripped her thighs tightly, the larger gem biting and sucking marks into Pearl’s thighs between broad swipes of her tongue against Pearl’s slit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Much better.” Jasper growled, staring up at Pearl with a wide, toothy grin, holding those glittering blue eyes as she lowered her mouth again to lick and suck at Pearl’s slit. “God, Pearl, you’re perfect.” She whispered, her eyes fixed upon the smaller gem’s parted, trembling lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“You make me feel perfect.” Pearl whispered, gasping as Jasper’s teeth pressed to her thigh, her gem glowing brightly in the darkness of the cave, Jasper’s own gem responding in kind as Pearl whined and clung to the other gem. “You make me perfect.” Leaning up to steal another kiss, Jasper felt herself fade and melt away, stroking her broad palms over Pearl’s body, her vision coalescing into something blinding and colourful and dizzying, making her close her eyes before she opened her eyes with a gasp, staring up at the ceiling of her hole._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Tiger’s Eye smiled and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. “We’re perfect together.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_________“Jasper?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Yes, Steven?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Were you… Were you neverous?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“About what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I mean… When you married Pearl.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Steven, you know that Gems don’t see marriage the same as you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“… I was terrified. I expected her to change her mind at any second.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Do you think Connie is going to change her mind?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No. I think that Connie has known for a very long time that she wanted to marry you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Oh…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“… Steven, do you want to change your mind?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No! No. I just… I worry that this is all a big mistake. That I’m asking too much of her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Steven…” Jasper’s broad fingers finished tying Steven’s bowtie, smoothing the bright pink fabric down gently with her broad hands. She was dressed in a black dress of her own, the delicate stems of her high heels miraculously keeping her weight up (Steven suspected some magic was involved). “The Gems and I have done you many injustices over the years. The worst of which was questioning your decisions when it came to your own life, your own future. We had to learn to stop questioning you at every turn, to trust in your judgment for what you believed was right for you.” Jasper smiled down at him, smoothing his dark curls into some semblance of a style. “You have to give Connie the same courtesy and respect.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“But what if this is all wrong?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Does it feel wrong when you’re with her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Does it feel wrong when you fuse?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No, never.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Does it feel wrong when you say you love her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Then it can’t be wrong, Steven. Love is always the answer.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“… Jasper?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Yes, Steven?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“When… When you and Pearl fuse permanently…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Steven, Pearl and I have spoken about this quite a lot.” Jasper gave the boy a stern look. “We will not become a permafusion until long after you are gone and replaced by someone new, with new memories and a new perspective on things.” Her lips twitched into a smile. “So you can always come to me with these doubts and these questions, and I promise Pearl won’t be here to catastrophise it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Steven smiled up at Jasper, letting out a deep breath before he nodded. “Thanks, Jasper.” He hugged her tightly, and Jasper returned the embrace, kissing the top of his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Now, come on, Connie is waiting for you, Mr. Maheswaran.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_________“Are you ready for this?” Pearl asked, smiling up at Jasper. They hadn’t wanted a big fuss, even though Garnet and Bismuth and Amethyst had all clamored over one another to throw a big bash. They were simple gems, and they didn’t want to have so much fanfare for something that they had decided would already be a very private moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I think so.” Jasper smiled. “I don’t think we could become more ready with more time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Pearl leaned in, kissing Jasper softly before she started up the music. They were on the beach, in the shadow of the temple, their fingers laced as they turned through the steps of their dance. Jasper’s low, guttural voice hummed softly along with Pearl’s lighter tones._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Their gems glowed softly, brightening the more they turned around one another, Jasper pulling Pearl close, giving her a deep dip before their forms merged, melting into one another, fusing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Tiger’s Eye breathed deeply, standing on the beach and staring out towards the vastness of the ocean. She held up her hands and smiled, turning over the sandy skin, interspersed with random dark stripes. She was dressed in a jumpsuit combination of Jasper and Pearl’s clothing and when she reached up she hummed at how her silky platinum hair rested about her shoulders. She was still tall and built as sturdy as Jasper, but she was less square, smoothed out into something like a swimmer, sleek and svelte and powerful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“How do you feel?” Tiger’s Eye asked the air, breathing deeply and staring out towards the ocean. There was a peace that she hadn’t known in so long, something light and breathless within her lungs, like traveling through space without any atmosphere. “I feel… Perfect.” She smiled. “I feel like me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
